What could you achieve if you got your inner bully to take a 60-day break?


I haven’t written a blog for 6 weeks now, basically because I’ve been “written out” by the end of each day.

I’ve been developing a new online course for this Autumn. And it was a roller coaster of conflicting emotions ….

…. until I found a way to get my inner perfectionist bully to accept a decision it usually fights like hell to resist. And it couldn’t have been easier.

The course I’d planned was a multi-media, 12-module 90-day Breakthrough to Success. With archetypes and powerful techniques with fancy names to show you the power of your mind to realise your vision.

Fantastic! Until you realise that, despite decades of teaching, developing year-long intensive courses for caring professionals and mentoring I have never developed a completely online course!

My brain stopped thinking like a computer when I stopped doing company law and finance in my early 30s. So online learning portal — Thinkific’s — user-friendly software was testing me to the limit long before I’d started thinking about content and format.

By the time I’d planned the full programme, and was half-way through writing the ebook that builds on my 7-Day Mindset Shift, I realised I’d fallen into the trap that friend and colleague Elena Estanol, calls the curse of the smarts.

It’s where I disappear down a rabbit hole of frustration and teeth-gritting as I try to satisfy my inner perfectionist’s demands to share everything I know. Whether it’s helpful to you, or not!

Seeing the mountain of work I still had to get through to achieve my goal, sent me tumbling down that rabbit hole!

So I looked for facts to halt my fall.

If it had taken me 1 month of 40+ hour weeks to write the ebook, I didn’t have a snowflake’s chance in hell of producing all the material for a 12-module course in 3 months! Let alone post it on software I’ve never used before.

Did I really want all that stress? Absolutely not!

As I looked at what I could achieve in 3 months without stress, it became crystal clear. Why not turn the material in the ebook into a shorter course! 
And why not use it as vehicle for my passions:

curiosity: the ebook had examples of how archetypes support us to look at what we don’t like about ourselves with curiosity, instead of judgement. That would be a great thing to expand on!

strengths: the ebook had brought me the clarity to see that while our saboteurs use our unresolved wounds as weapons against us, our archetypes use them as tools to propel us towards the successful achievement of our goals. Why not show you how they do that?

metacognition*: my own metacognitive thinking while writing the ebook helped me better understand your needs and reminded me why this a key skill in your success! How about if I talked you through what this is and gave you opportunities to practice using it? (1) (2)
 self-regulation*: the ebook had reminded me how much easier the archetypes make it to act in the best interests of my goals. So why not develop tips and tools to help you do that too?

By this stage all I needed was a tiny push to get me back into the sun.

And it came in the form of realising how much easier my passions were making it to distill 40+ years of working with inner saboteurs into what you need right now to stop getting in the way of your success.

So over the last month I’ve been happily developing a simple explanation of how archetypes are the perfect antidote to an active inner saboteur.

I’ve created guidelines — pared down to the essential — that support you to use your mind as a helpful tool. And cut out all the information you won’t need so as not to overwhelm you!

And as I focused on sharing only what’s most empowering for you my inner perfectionist bully, rabbit hole and stress disappeared!

And the unexpected bonus is …

… that I’ve discovered things I didn’t know I knew until I wrote them. How cool is that!
 Where have you given yourself a break from your inner bully lately, and discovered that what you’ve created is way better than what it would have let you create?

* metacognition is a fancy name for awareness and understanding of your thought processes
* self-regulation is consciously choosing thoughts and behaviour that support you to work in your best interests to reach your goals.