A slave in Qatar: Mami’s Story — Chapter 4

This is based on a true story of a maid that lived in the Gulf States for many years.

Different Worlds about to Collide

Ruby arrived in Qatar during the summer months. She had come to work at a University in Qatar to teach sciences. She had left a strong career behind in the U.S.. There were many reasons she was heading to Qatar. In the year Ruby was pregnant with her son, she had been working at highly competitive institution in America. She had come to replace a stellar chemist, famous for her work when she was on maternity leave. While covering for her, Ruby did an impressive job despite being left with almost no guidance or outlines to base everything on. During her second year teaching at the American institution, Ruby herself became pregnant with what ended up to be a difficult pregnancy. She had been hospitalized many times. This happened at a time she was applying to work with them full-time, but they let her go.

Ruby had been popular at the school, helping high achieving students reach for the stars, involving herself in many environmental programs, doing collaborative research and generally being very close to students and staff. The Vice president of the organization called Ruby in personally to tell her he was disappointed with the outcome, that he knew she was stellar but there were complications ruling the hiring process and he would send her off with flying recommendations. Students made heart-warming speeches before she left. It was all wonderful, but it most certainly did not pay the bills.

Ruby was born in the U.S.A but her family was from Egypt. Her family were Coptic Christians and her husband was also Egyptian, but a Muslim. This caused strain in the family in general, even though her mother had given her blessings for the marriage. Ruby’s older daughter was 4 years old, a darling of the family — everyone loved her. She made it clear to her family, her daughter Aisha would grow up a Muslim, and despite this Aisha herself warmed everyone’s heart — even those that had some problems with the marriage.

This second pregnancy was extremely turbulent. Ruby had an autoimmune disease that kept her in the hospital for months during those last weeks of her job at the American institute. This may or may not have impacted their decision to not hire her permanently. This meant, in addition to the very dangerous pregnancy, Ruby did not have a stable job.

Ruby and her husband Salam decided to call their son Hamza. Hamza is not a neutral name like Aisha, it is more clearly Muslim. This caused a commotion even with her mother. Her mother had been with Ruby during the difficult pregnancy but made it clear she was unhappy with the name and even avoided Ruby and the whole family after the birth. She found it difficult to say his name. The larger family made constant racist comments if they saw Ruby and her husband, but in general avoided them, causing a great deal of tension and sadness. Ruby felt she needed her mother after the birth, but did not understand why a name or even this aspect of religion was causing such rifts. It added to the rejection she had felt after not being re-hired at the American institute where she had had much success.

The year of maternity with her newborn son Hamza was bitter sweet. She was able to spend more time with her beloved children. Aisha had just entered kindergarten and Hamza was a newborn. Living off the American government’s generous maternity benefits which Ruby appreciated with all her heart, the money was at poverty level and again, a large change from her previous salary. But Ruby always put things in perspective and as ambitious as she was in her career, she also knew her children would only be an infant and a 4 year old once, and she wanted to enjoy this magical time and hold on to whatever came her way. Her husband Salam who was just starting to build himself after immigrating to the U.S.A was starting to make his way with a good job in web development at an established newspaper company. It was all manageable, she maintained hope, though Ruby missed her mother greatly and they definitely had to tighten their financial strings.

Seven months into the year long maternity leave while Ruby aggressively looked for her new beginning anywhere else, her husband Salam lost his job. America was facing a recession, and Salam fell victim as a new employee. Now things were getting stressful. The maternity pay prevented starvation but that

was it. Ruby was well educated with a Master’s degree in chemistry, education degree, years of experience in research, international development and generally a hard worker. Salam was working very hard to make his way in America, but there they were in a very stressful situation. It was a frustrating time.

The relationship between Ruby and her mother continued to be strained. They seldom saw each other, in that year of maternity leave when Hamza was born. Ruby was born Coptic Christian from an Egyptian family. Her husband was also from Egypt, but muslim. This was extremely controversial in the family. Her other, who did love Ruby dearly, accepted and blessed the marriage on the promise that Ruby would never herself become Muslim. The choice of Ruby to marry a Muslim, even though her parents gave their blessing, remained a rift and controversy in Ruby’s side of the family.

Ruby’s mother, Fouziya, was generally extremely kind and logical. She was a fighter and survivor on her own right. She had raised Ruby and her brothers in America completely on her own. Fouziya immigrated to America with her children with almost no background in English. Before her divorce she was very much a stay-at-home mother, that didn’t know how to drive, did not speak English or any other foreign language well, never worked outside the home, and without much travel. They had been living in Eritrea, which was her first time out of Egypt because her ex-husband’s family business was there. Her ex-husband had flipped her world with the divorce when he left her for a woman that was introduced to him as her friend. She had befriended her because, in her kindness, she wanted to help this woman get through her own marital problems.

Fouziya chose to immigrate to America instead of returning to Egypt where her family was, because she knew her children had no future in Egypt. Because she was divorced and a single mother, things were completely forbidden or at least looked down upon in the Coptic religion, and she was not even free to say the truth. For years when they would visit Egypt together, Ruby had family members ask about her estranged father which she found strange, but she was instructed by the family never to reveal the truth about the divorce.

The bond between Ruby and her mother was strong. She was really the only parent she ever knew and she recognized the deep beauty, kindness and strength in her mother. She never wanted to disappoint her, but she did find happiness and love with her husband Salam. Salam was a good man, and gave Ruby faith in men after years of being extremely fearful of marriage and men in general.

Hamza was a name that was not intended to cause controversy, but it was a name that had touched Ruby. Ruby did feel pain about the abandonment and racism of her family over her marriage and appreciated that it took more strength from her mother even to say in front of them that she approved of the marriage. The anger and racism towards Ruby was also being distributed on her mother to some extent. But the year of not talking really did hurt her. It was a year of bittersweet loneliness for Ruby. She adored her son, which she considered a deep blessing, but ached at the rift with her mother, who she had considered her deepest and closest friend.

Ruby did not apply for the University, the University found her. One day, Ruby saw a strange e-mail in her junk folder. It was from an American university in Qatar. She had not applied to them, but Ruby had made one application to Emirates and somehow her resume had fallen in the hands of the HR department in Qatar. Salam and Ruby now had many things to think about.

The family in America was for the most part rejecting them because of a name, but really because of religion. Neither parent had stable jobs at that moment, but surely something would come in with patience. But here was this strange opportunity. 3 years, for a similar salary to what Ruby had just earned, but with annual airfares, school coverage at a American school while there, free accommodation with no utilities and a 25% out of country living expense hike. The salary was higher than the U.S., they would have a paid villa, flights for the family to and from America annually, tuition for the children in a private American school, a small allowance for transportation… everything was sending them in one direction. With the risk that Salam would not be able to work there, it was a lot to consider. Even for Ruby, her career was on track beginning to publish in textbooks, journals and involved in many projects, a drastic change in country might put everything on hold.

Everything came together. This chance for a new beginning was tempting. Maybe they would have a chance to blend in, to not be judged for a name. Maybe they would fit in and be appreciated by the simple fact this was a country that spoke Arabic also. A chance to do something good. That’s why Ruby entered education, to have a career that she saw as being a huge responsibility. Influencing people, their education and hopefully doing it with inspiration, with morality and not hopefully with the prejudice, racism and rejection she had felt from her family. Qatar was also close to Egypt, they could visit Salam’s family. Financially it also seemed that maybe they could finally save some money. They had some heavy decisions to make. Was it time to uproot their lives once again?

Salam and Ruby carefully wrote their pros and cons out. They had also, in the past, lived briefly in the Sultanate of Oman and somewhat enjoyed their time, but the salary had been low and Salam was not permitted to work at all there. What they really did not enjoy in Oman was the class system of people by race and racism in general. This time, however, they would not be working for a local university, it was a American company and they hoped and felt this meant the system would be more like America. In Qatar the salary was much better and there was a possibility Salam could work. Another pro was that Qatar was close to Egypt, and it wasn’t fair that Salam’s mother and immediate family did not have the chance to see their son and grandchildren often or vice versa. There was the hope that their children would be immersed in Arabic language and thus learn to speak Arabic more fluently. And then there was religion. The children were growing up Muslim in America, which was sometimes a fair place, but racism was there, it was hard to connect, no holidays on Friday, fasting for Ramadan felt isolated since the majority of the population does not fast, and general customs that they felt they did not want their children to get used to such as forms of dress, respect for elders, etc. Then there was the added strain of the families of different religions and all the associated strains… it was a lot to consider.

And after terribly scrutinizing and praying and weighing things out, Ruby and Salam had to make a quick decision for this American university in Qatar and accepted a 3 year contract to begin a brand new program which was a Foundation for nurses in chemistry and biology. Ruby enjoyed that challenging aspect of it. She was used to working with challenging, demanding students who wanted to learn. She was told by the HR woman that the students there were different, in that they seemed to need to be inspired(in other words, they were unmotivated) and it would be hard to get them to work. But starting a new program, with the chance to inspire and for a nurses which as a careers is also so giving, seemed amazing!

Then she learned who her colleague would be and it seemed even more coincidental. Of all the people in the world, Ruby had met her future colleague, Chris, previously while taking an intensive course in AP chemistry. He had been heading to Brazil, but she remembered him telling her he had previously worked in Qatar. What a strange co-incidence that she knew the person she was working with. It all became a bit more comforting and perhaps destined.

Once the contract was signed the lengthy visa process began. This was where the first hiccups occurred. Salam was not yet a American citizen, although the process to begin that had begun. He was expected to get his citizenship 3 months before, but then a letter arrived from the government of America saying he had applied one day too early. There were a certain number of days that must be fulfilled before the citizenship process and because they were keen to make sure everything was done, it turned out to be just one day early. The result was, they had to re-start the process from the beginning which would take about 6 months. It was extremely frustrating. With this new contract, they both understood American citizenship might not happen before leaving.

Without any papers to show Salam was officially American and permanent residency meaning nothing

internationally, in the eyes of Qatar he was an Egyptian and this was problematic. There were diplomatic problems between Qatar and Egypt and Qatar was not willing to give him a visa. Ruby was not willing to leave Salam and in addition they had rented out their condominium and there was no place to stay in America. All the family in America was actually Ruby’s and though her mother offered. The university was in constant contact with Ruby assuring her they had their best lawyer on the problem, and that he could foresee Salam would come soon. But there were no promises. Another thing just ill defined. Another risk.

So now they really were not sure about their decision. The contract had already been signed. The university told Ruby 2 months before travel that probably everything would be arranged within 2 weeks. The time came and went and 2 weeks before departure, the family was told Salam did not have a visa well past the time the house was sold, the bags were shipped and everything else was done. Everything spiralled into (expensive) chaos, and the resettlement money was instead used to fly him to Egypt to stay with his family until he would get the visa. Because of the unknowns of moving to such a new place, Ruby’s mother agreed to come to help in the settling in and fly with them to Qatar. Ruby was relieved yet extremely scared. One part of her was really frightened of running into so many unknowns, and without her husband with the accumulating expenses when the reason for going was to save money — and another side knew that maybe this was happening so that her mainly estranged mother would bond with her and her son once again. She had faith this was all happening in this crazy chaotic madness for a reason.

Packing up one’s life is never an easy thing. Between the time their house was sold and the time for flight was a gap time of one week. The only person with room for them was Ruby’s brother and his wife which added more strain to the family. There were so many unknowns. The expenses kept accumulating. Furniture was sold for low prices, shipping important items overseas was extremely expensive, storage for some of the existing furniture was arranged, a myriad of papers had to be put together for the kids schooling, arrangement of banking, all happening at once and causing tensions between Ruby and Salam.

Ruby, her kids and her estranged mother were all heading to the very mysterious nation of Qatar. Her husband Salam was also leaving but not to the same place. Nobody completely understood what they were heading towards, or even when they would see each other again.