Week 6 — Can I clock up ten years of gratitude?

It was a tough one last week.

I hit a wall in some negotiations and it made me sad. 
We didn’t see eye to eye. 
I cannot understand why they don’t see my point of view. 
Presumably they feel the same.
I think they are being unfair. 
They think I am being difficult.

For several months I have been hanging around people who believe that business should not only make money, but also change the world for the better; inside and outside of the workplace. They recognise that their greatest assets are the people who work for/with them, and so they take risks and experiment to see if they can be better employers than the generation before. They are inspired by initiatives like Buffer’s transparent salary formula and SumAll’s policy of allowing employees to choose their bosses. They do not believe the traditional method of doing business is the only one. It’s ambitious, the old school would probably say it’s naive, but there is evidence that it works.

Having been immersed in this lovely startup bubble, I have been spoilt. 
So when I was once again exposed to the sharp end of traditional workplace culture where the value an individual can offer is less important than toeing the company line (even if that line may be broken or distorted), I was surprised anew. It amazes me that employers still think it is preferable for their greatest assets to be potentially disgruntled and resentful, than to adjust age-old methods of thinking. It’s an attitude of: “suck it up like everyone else, or walk away”. There appears to be no room for compromise.

So walk away I must.
There are many times when sucking it up is the right thing to do. 
This is not one of them.

It has been the first setback of my new freelance life, and I’m sure there will be many more. But still, it hurts a bit to have to say good-bye to something that I truly believe could have worked for both of us.

Moving on…

So perhaps there is no better time to take onboard one of those habits which would be right up there on the winner’s podium alongside “Adult Colouring Books” and “Mindfulness” if there was ever such a thing as the “2016 Olympics of The World’s Best Habits Cup Championship Competition”.

And that is of course “Gratitude”.

I am very excited by gratitude. 
Not because it will change my life, improve my sleep and bring me everlasting contentment, but because I get to buy some new stationary. Who knew there was such a thing as a 10 year journal? Not me. Well not until someone fatefully mentioned it in a random comment on a blog post discussing the virtues of thankfulness. I sighed in wonder and then immediately assumed such a thing would only be available in America. But lo and behold, research revealed this not to be true. Amazon.co.uk to the rescue. How grateful am I?

The 10 year journal I have chosen reflects the gravitas of my decision to keep track of my gratitude for 10 years. I wanted something beautiful. And hefty. The fact it came in in its own special filigree storage box was a sweet bonus.

It works by having a page for every day of the year. And then underneath that there are ten sections, one for each year. You can start in any year. There is just enough room in each section to write a few things you are grateful for that day. I love the idea of writing something for today, February 29, and then next year, writing something else underneath it.

Hang on! I have just realised the flaw in that plan. I’ve taken a quick check; they do indeed have 10 sections under February 29. This would of course make it a 40 year journal for one day only!

Still, it will work for every other day. After 10 years, you will be able to look at say, March 1st, and see what you were doing (and were grateful for) on that day for each of the previous 10 years. I am stupendously excited by that. Just think how funny it will be to read ‘I am grateful for the iPhone 6’ in ten years time. It would be like looking back now and reading ‘I’m grateful I didn’t have to line up for too long at the telephone box’.

How can one NOT practice gratitude with such a journal by her bedside? Three short bullet points of gratefulness every evening that reflect what I’ve done that day. That’s it, that’s my new habit of the week. Sorted.

Troubleshooting

• You forget to do it? Put that lovely book on your pillow when you make your bed in the morning. That way, you remember to “do your gratitude dude” as soon as you get into bed at night.
• You are going away to Doha for a month and it’s just not practical to take such a big book with you? That IS going to be tough, especially when the habit is not yet engrained. But you are going to have to keep notes in your calendar or Evernote and add them in when you get back.
• You have nothing to be grateful for? Try again. Put yourselves in the position of a refugee painfully marching your way through Europe in the winter, having to change direction whenever a border is closed to you, with nothing to call your own except the memories of your battle-torn city. Then tell me you have nothing to be grateful for.
• You don’t really see the point? Look, I know where you are coming from, but too many people I respect have tried it and say it really makes a difference. And when you think about it, every religion and belief system throughout the ages had some kind of prayer or reflection associated with it. There must be something to it, and there’s only one way to find out if it works for you. And anyway, it must be important, it has its own tag on Medium!
• You miss a day and there’s a big space in your lovely journal? Panic. Life is no longer worth living. Just kidding, cover the hole with a strawberry. (A reference to one of my favourite children’s books of all time)

This week’s DONE list…

As always — here is this week’s DONE list, so you can keep me on the straight and narrow and check I haven’t just been lazing about in a hot tub all week…

Other good things that happened last week…

• I saw Cirque du Soleil for the first time. The reviews suggested it wasn’t as good as previous shows they have done, but for a first timer it was spectacular. And it was at the Royal Albert Hall, a venue that fills me with joy, no matter what I am seeing there.

• A family Facebook discussion resulted in several female cousins each agreeing to purchase a pair of mermaid leggings for no other reason than it is amusing. Legging have now been ordered (a different colour for everyone). All that remains is to arrange for said cousins to gather from the three different countries we live in so we can show them off to each other, fall over ourselves with laughter, and most likely dance around the living room to 1980s pop. This is the true purpose of Facebook.

New adventures this week. I am off to Qatar for the first time. New work, new experiences and a new emphasis on gratitude. Tune in next week from Doha…

Suzi