Why I wish I was Fat and/or Hairy!

This, at first thought, might seem a strange wish but I think it’s the best way forward if I am ever going to get anyone to take serious notice of my cookbooks.

Sadly, I am normal size, normally hirsute and I’m not even a lesbian, more’s the pity (as a gay friend once said to me “at least you can have a sensible conversation at home!”). What on earth can I do to grab the attention of people who want to cook?

The fact that I have been a chef for over 30 years, have run my own restaurants which have been favorably mentioned several times in The Good Food Guide plus many others, travelled and worked all over the world, lived and cooked on boats, in camper vans, caravans and other odd situations and (this is the important bit) learned and picked up a huge range of interesting and truly useful ideas, tips and recipes just doesn’t seem to be enough to qualify me as a cookbook writer.

I need a peculiarity — not something utterly amazing, I don’t think being fat, hairy or gay is particularly odd, but something to show I am a real cook and know my subject — perhaps I could, I dunno, have a nose extension (that might work — The Nosy Chef?) or how about The Peeved Chef?

It seems that “voice”, knowledge, writing style and good reviews like this one …

“Hi there, just like to say that I purchased your 4 genius books for kindle yesterday — ice cream, sorbet, scones and soup. They are great! Wonderful simple recipes and a delightful writing style that made me laugh out loud at times.”

or this …

“I am a proud owner of your book, which was just delivered today, and wanted to tell you I am thrilled to bits with it! Honestly, I have quite a few books at home and quite of them are the “bible” type all-in-books, but I have the feeling yours will be the only one to be referred to time after time after time after time. I don’t mean to belittle the work of Jamie, Hugh, Gordon, Nigel etc. etc., however I am in love with this book because it sort of reminds us what “back to basics” should look like.”

… are not enough.

Any ideas for grabbing people’s attention, please?

To read more about my cookbooks see here.

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