Fair Warning — Read This First
(Especially If You Know Me In Real Life)
Now that I’ve started sharing my stories here on Medium, I figure it’s probably a good idea to give ya’ll a heads up. As I alluded to in my “About” section, I write about just about anything, and I have a plethora of hardly-ever-read blog posts and other writings from years of scribbling and key-pecking to draw upon. Plus, my brain is always making connections between seemingly unrelated trivia, which can often lead to weird and wayward wanderings. Some of the stories I share may deal with issues that can be uncomfortable. I promise to tag with a Trigger Warning (TW) if necessary. If you read something of mine and you think it should be TW’d but I haven’t done it, you’re welcome to give me that feedback.
I guess while I’m at it I should throw out a warning to my loved ones who follow me and old friends, relatives, and coworkers who may stumble upon my profile. I plan to be honest in what I share. This means you might find out something about me that you didn’t know and might wish you still didn’t know.
Over the years I’ve been quite selective in what I’ve shared and how I’ve expressed things. Until I worked in behavioral health in Peer Support and Suicide Prevention, it was crucial to success in most jobs to present only my best self, wearing a coat of seemingly invulnerable armor. In Peer Support, the best way to help those with whom you work is to be open about your own experiences; let them know that they are not alone. I never achieved the heights of professional success that I had the potential to achieve because I made mistakes that got me into dangerous and vulnerable places. Those experiences had an effect on me that held me back. I’m not throwing the blame for my personal lack of professional and financial success on any other person — I made the decisions I made. However, the way certain experiences when I was a young woman affected me was by shifting my perception of the world around me and therefore changing the way I related to the world. I unknowingly self-sabotaged. I made many of the choices I made based on faulty information from myself.
Once I started to open up just enough to help my clients, I began to see the pattern. With some talk therapy, counseling, and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) through the VA, I could see the beginning of the pattern. Knowing is half the battle, they say.
I am no longer working for someone else. If I ever do it again, it will be part time and within my control. My parents have both passed beyond the veil. I believe they now know anything I couldn’t (or didn’t) tell them, and they understand. I think it’s time to let go of some of that armor. Now when I write, I just might be a little more open and perhaps a little more casual about how I share my personal stories. I’ll do my best not to embarrass anyone, but just be prepared. That’s all I’m saying.
