You know it

Let the Flower baby out.

Forgive-me-not. A blue springtime flower that reminds the world about the importance of relationships and endless times. At least it does to me. Once the little spider said: springtimes brings paradox children. Stubborn extremists whom shifts mood like april shows its borderline temperature changes. Up down, rain, hail and sun. Intense times where the never ending grey slowly turns in to cool and long summer nights.

When the little girl, locked in a women body, close her eyes she knows its time to make decisions. Cant tell or be told cause the truth lies within the closest of closets hearts. Long time ago someone made her emotions at least show any affection. A strong mind does not help, only turns me to loneliness. To give in to what the heart is asking for is to feed your needs. The ones that are hard to detect and to dare to trust.

Like the dark boy with the butterfly pictures. Where did you come from? Your appearance is kind of dull and you seem a little hectic, but who doesn’t? Still your sweet words make me smile, al though doubt is always there that you are one of them who make fun of me. Low self estimate again and it forces me to destructive minds. Shake of the cold hands touching your emotion center. There is time and there is need for emotions. Now it is time. Missing being a part of someones life.

Still my head is moving towards the lonely job around the world. Global Hostess, experience the world around in one year….Or stay where I know the ground I walk. New stage in life. Entering what the hormons in my body are screaming after. And what my whole me says instantly no to. Hard when I cant control or get closer to the main issue. To blocked. One week to choose. Playing dubble life with my self but soon I have to decide for a winning side. Getting chaotic here soon and lies will be revelaed. No more misstakes.

The lonely warrior on her way in the jaws of someone new. No. Yes. Maybe. Why this urge to suddenly be with someone. Like for always and for real. Strong sisterhood is melting out in the weakness of the women blessing heart for trust and security. People try telling me to focus on my choice… But isn’t this choice for me?

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