Down & out in Milan

16-10–22 MILANO

My departure day was both amazing and both chaotic as always. Third check, 4th check and still there is something missing or someone else are fucking up your time by not doing things that they promise. I tried to pack as little as possible and I spent the day with E, one of my partners in crime. Thank you for your friendship by the way. I always have you in my mind with your Rotterdam jacket and ugly grin on your face. One of the few that always is there and who don’t talk bullshit.

Down and out, both for real and metaphoric, to live in a place where that I don’t know anything about. All I now is that is it in the middle of nowhere and that Corrado wants me to start Kite surfing. Something I’m very scared of and i really cant see myself ding it, but I will- Luckily I have my thumb broken still so I can blame that so that i can get used of the though before I start.

Purpose of the trip? I always wanted to got o South America and Brazil is definitely one of the places I always wanted to visit. My attraction to the culture, religion and spirits has always been huge and with curious mind Ive been waiting for the opportunity to go and discover a world I yet did not take part in, but that Ive read so much about. From Copenhagen to South America. I always had the sensation that it will do me good. After being invited for 2 years I feel ready to go and I now have time to stay, even though I have no money left, I’m still enjoying the thoughts about leaving to a destination in dark.

I arrive late, 23:30 to Bergamo airport outside of town and I realize there is no bus to Malpensa at this time. My plan was to stay in the airport for the night. I had some texts I wanted to finish and I was not tired. Instead I went for intuition and I took the bus to Milan center, why, I don’t really know but I couldn’t stand the thought of being at boring Bergamo airport all night. 30 min before arrival to the central station I came to think about Couch surfing and thats no is really the time to use it. I had to be at Malpensa 8.30 to receive a bag with things to bring for Corrado. But the night is long when you have no place to go. I found something called couch surfing Hangouts and there I became friends with 3 people whom also knew each other where 2 of them was in the same place. I went to the square, yes I know that everybody told me not to got o the square, but I found some really nice people from Iran straight away and we had a really nice talk for 30 min. We shared a joint and laughed a lot. IA part of my life is always a project where I go to places no one else normally does. I like to see the world from different perspectives all the time, otherwise I DONT KNOW and I can never judge or show empathy for people lives I never tried. I don’t see more fear in the people who surround the square then people I see in the fancy restaurants high on cocaine and champagne. The evil does not belong to where you are. All people have their dark sides.

I wanted to stay but change is good so I called the Milanese guy and he picked me up 5 minutes later. We grow to a Latino party, techno, and was of course very happy. We spend some hours drinking and talking over there.. the party was not a great success but it was the first time they were doing it and i could give some advice about the importance of deco and inviting people etc :)

After these Brazilian guys took me to a small bar close to the park we had some food and more drinks. It was a really cozy and odd place in the otherwise elegant Milano. I would love to go back one day. I had one brasilia guy, 2 from Argentina and one from Milano with me and we had so much fun. After this I took my bags and walked the road down to central around 6 a clocking the morning.

Back on the square I had another hair to kill and I got to know this young guy from Afghanistan but he lived in Milano for a long time. There was a lot of tense in the square at this times and groups of young boys starred at each other and made moves towards a fight. Me was now in the middle of these and all people wanted to talk to me.. I ran away with the boy and we bought some food and cigarettes and we found an empty place in the central station. The boy tried to come closer all the time, but Im at the age of 29 years old, not stupid anymore. I Know what they want and they see me alone and drunk, of course they think am an easy target. Ive tried it so many times now so I know… Its fact, not speculations. But we both gain in the situation anyway. He helped me to find the train in time, carried my bag, showed the way to the ticket machine. All things I normally stress about and that creates a lot of problems for me always since I freeze in my brain when I can find things straight away. Im getting better but my last trips they all ended the same, with a helper. So I will continue to travel like this. Even though I have to defend my self as a women a lot, its worth it and I also tell them on, two things of course about what they are doing and why it is wrong.

I am a nightcrawler and I love the cold early mornings outside in any central station in the world. Its a war that ends when the office people go to work. ITS THE WAR OF THE NiGHT AND RESPECT FOR THE TRIBE and for pure survival- Its a hard life and without strategies you don’t survive one night. Respect to the people who don’t have any other options.

I knew the young man had put something in my bag but I couldn’t check in the train. I knew he had done something really bad, the fear was burning in his eyes and I was his only hope of survival. I could feel the scarcity for he´s acs and the consequences. When I left him for the train he was more calm and the grin of his face showed me he again managed to escape his death or pain. I cant decide if this is a good thing or not that I saved him from doing something bad, but that is actually not up to me to decide. I don’t live on the streets more than a short period of time, and i always have a place to escape using my Mastercard, They don’t.

At 8.30 I met the parents of Corrado. I had been awake the whole night and I knew I looked like shit and I was 30 minutes late.. Im never late and it freaks me out but I couldn’t find the place where we were suppose to met. They left the bag,they looked a little bit sceptic when I pushed down the bag in my suitcase. I gave them a gift and w closes the lit. Just before check-in I remember the thing the guy from the Central did put in my bag. I went outside with the luggage and in the out pocket if the suitcase there was a bag. The bag was filled with a broken bottle, bloody clothes and some paper. I slowly held it, feared for the worst that he killed someone but decided to close my mind and my eyes for these thoughts and I through it away, never to be seen by anyone again.

Vida loca. Arriverderci Italia. Benvenuti Brazile.

E un bacio delle montagne that was exposed in the skyline of the alps. Che bello and I was feeling a small sad feeling in my heart. I miss the mountains and especially Cervinia so much. We have to go soon.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.