When Batman Visits A Car Sharing Agency, Part One

We are inside the customer service area of a car sharing agency.

But this is no ordinary car sharing service. This is the Ace Superhero Car Sharing Agency, which proudly offers vehicles that are tailored for its extraordinary “superhero” clients.

A young woman in a white shirt and blue vest stands behind the counter, scrolling through her tablet device.

She looks up just as Batman walks in.

“Good day to you, sir! Welcome to Ace Superhero Car Sharing! What can I help you with today?”

“I’m here to pick up my armoured, fighting motor vehicle. It’s called the ‘Little Tumbler’ on your website but it’s basically a Batmobile.”

“Oh yes! That’s one of our most popular models.”

“My reservation number is right here.”

Batman shows his iPhone screen to the agent behind the counter.

“All right. Well, let me take a look!”

Cheerfully, she adds, “Just a moment!”

She looks at her tablet.

“Yeah… I see. I’m so sorry but there seems to have been a misunderstanding. The last Batmobile just left the lot.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, unfortunately, the last Batmobile just left the lot. It’s no longer available.”

“I have to have that Batmobile.”

“Yeah, I understand, but I’m afraid it’s no longer available. We do have many exciting alternatives that we are happy to offer you.”

“That’s probably not going to work.”

“We have many other vehicles here at Ace that I’m very confident will meet your needs, which we’re more than happy to provide for you at a substantially reduced rate.”

“I’m not interested in any of the other cars. I’m only here to pick up the Batmobile. I specifically requested it on the website. I booked it and received a confirmation code. Here’s my confirmation code.”

He shows her the screen again.

“Yeah. That’s definitely the confirmation code, Mr. Batman. I’m really sorry but the Batmobile is no longer available. You know, we do have a Ford F-150. It’s a really wonderful truck and I think you’ll find it more than powerful enough to meet your needs.”

Batman does not respond.

“It was strong enough to tow the Space Shuttle!”

Batman stares coldly at her.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what do you intend to do with the vehicle?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, if you can tell me a little bit more about what it is that you’re looking for, then I can help you select an alternative vehicle.”

Batman throws his arms up in the air.

“I have a confirmation number.”

“Yes. I understand that, but, as I explained, the Batmobile is no longer available so…”

“I had intended to do a bit of off-road driving.”

“Well, the F-150 can certainly handle that.”

“Possibly smash through chain-link fences, drive across a variety of barriers and rough terrain, through walls, and probably drive off bridges.”

“Hmmmn. I see.”

“It’s conceivable that I might run over some people. Unintentional, of course. I was also interested in a vehicle that has built-in rocket launchers and front-mounted, retractable artillery cannons. It needs to be armored as I expect that I’ll be taking on hostile fire, very likely from tanks, so some sort of anti-tank weapons system would be really helpful, as well as an integrated fire-extinguishing system, while it would be a plus if it came with an ejector seat. Grappling hook launchers would also be appreciated. Can you do that?”

“Okay. Thank you for sharing that. Well, based on your feedback, I don’t think the F-150 is going to meet your needs. Let me just go through the inventory here and see what else I can find.”

“Perhaps you should limit your search to vehicles with jet engines?”

“Of course. Yes. Good point.”

Thirty seconds pass.

“We do have a couple of really spiffy quad bikes. You know, all-terrain vehicles?”

“I had a confirmation number. I’ve already pre-paid. With a substantial deposit, I might add.”

“Okay. I take it that’s a no to the ATV?”

Batman is not amused.

“I don’t understand,” he says.

“Oh wait, let me take a look at our inventory of construction vehicles. Yes! Might I interest you in a back hoe? It comes with GPS!”

Batman shakes his head.

“We also have a tunnel boring machine. It does, however, require a bigger deposit.”

Part TWO can be found here! This is an early draft featuring the first episode of a series of comedy skits about a car sharing service that caters to superheroes. Please be a good sport and don’t steal the idea. Thanks, Christian.

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