If you had an opportunity to talk to your ten-year-old self, what advice would you give?
I would tell myself to play more; to stop and enjoy the moment I was in; and to stop wishing to be old enough to do more sophisticated things.
Some friends I asked shared that they wished they had taken vocal lessons or attended music classes. They wished they had pursued what they loved the most, such as dancing. They wished they had spent more time with friends. And some wished they had allowed themselves to be natural and stop pretending to be something they were not.
We have so many regrets.
Some time ago, I came across a study which was about the regrets of people who were dying. Here is what they said:
- I wish I had not work so hard
- I wish I had stayed in touch with friends
- I wish I had let myself be happier
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my true self
There are things you can do every day to make sure you don’t have similar regrets when the time comes to look back on your life. And you can start by building the resiliency you need to manage life’s challenges.
People who live full and happy lives have four types of resilience:
Everyday do something in each of these categories in order to live longer and have no regrets at the end of your life.
Physical — don’t sit still — move around.
At work, I spend a lot of time sitting at my desk. Instead of having a big bottle of water, I switched it to a glass of water and promised myself to get up and refill it every time it was empty. This small adjustment in my everyday routine made a big difference in my physical state. I got more fit — and that feels good!
For your healthy Mental state you need to accomplish something every day. It could be something big like getting a new job or taking an exam, or something small like watering a plant.
Every morning I do 15 minutes of exercise. It feels so great when the day has not even started yet and I have already accomplished something.
For the Emotional state — do something every day that gives you a good feeling: playing with the kids, walking your dog, listening to music, reading a book, etc.
Social — some days you don’t want to talk to or see anyone. Even so, try to say “Thank you” every day to someone you know, or to a stranger. When you make someone’s day, your days will get better too.
Most of the time, we regret the things we didn’t do even more than the things we did.
I did not tell that person how sorry I am.
I did not try my best in a school competition.
I did not apply for that job.
When that happens, we are filled with regret. But it doesn’t have to be like that.
Now I understand this and make different choices. I make the choice to DO rather than NOT DO.
I prefer to live a life of “Oh Wells” instead of “What ifs”.
What about you?