I am told the Patriarchy meets once a month in a massive underground bunker somewhere under the streets of Paris. The elders of the patriarchy are all old white men with long beards and black robes. They send out legions of evil male minions to abuse women and keep us down.

So western societies artificially advantage women over men in almost every way that really matters. We have unfair advantages in healthcare, housing, education and in the courts. We are also the people who are not flung in front of machine guns whenever a war happens. We have all the same rights as men and then some:

But that is apparently just because the patriarchy is fooling everyone so as to make people believe it is not about male privilege. It must exclude some men like you. That is why you never received your male privilege card in the post. Unfortunately the patriarchy is quite ruthless.

The reason that you don’t know of any rights that men have that women don’t have is because the patriarchy keeps them a secret. Clever of them isn’t it?

Ask a wise feminist for advise and she will tell you that anything bad that happens to you is just your own male privilege back-firing on you.

Now go and check your privilege and just be eternally grateful that “feminism helps men tooooooooooo!”