I followed your link and read your article Mike, and much as I usually respect your writings, I think this piece is mostly wishful thinking. Do you think women value you for your inner qualities? I mean women who don’t know you. How could they possibly know about your inner qualities anyway? I of course agree that looks become much less important as two people grow older together and know each other more deeply; but I was talking about the initial stages of attraction.
An older couple might be deeply in love with the other qualities of each other; but they would never have known that if they had not been attracted to each other as strangers when they met. That attraction has very little to do with deeper attributes and everything to do with the quite shallow ones I mentioned.
There is a short story from Chekhov wherein a monk asks a young woman he knows — “How are you getting on with your husband?” The woman replies — “Oh it is a little early to say. We have only been married for ten years.”