International Happiness Day!
Who comes up with this stuff?
I guess it could be, unhappiness day on the other hand.
I’m happy at the moment not thinking of my troubles.
Does that count?
I haven’t bounced back yet, still a work in progress.
Sometimes, I don’t feel like being “the strong one.”
I want to call on “the strong one” to take over, time to time.
In my absence things gone haywire.
I don’t need supervision to get a job done.
I like to think most people wouldn’t want or need their boss there.
Once you know your job, well.
Brakes, screech — hold on — not true.
The same people who knew and know, what to do.
Lost their minds, unsupervised.
What is that?
My friend and ex — business partner advised.
(Not ex because of this, two chiefs more indians blah, blah, blah.
We still partner up now and again and throw one hell of a party.
Two ways of doing things, not good for employees!
Cool beans. We separated our partnership.)
Anyway, …he said.
“They like you being there with them.
They don’t like the uncertainty, of knowing if it’s what you want.”
He said, to me.
“What!” I said.
He said, further.
“They don’t want the responsibility, of your decision making.”
“You can’t teach — experience.”
He is right, I had to sit down.
Why is it when, I decide to pursue my dreams everything else falls apart.
I am the student now, not the teacher.
“Do they know.
I gave up my places to live to invest in my book and still pay people.
I needed them to stay focused, make this work.”
I told him, with my head in my hands.
He said, “Nothing to do with them.”
“Don’t you dare think of giving up, it’s one of those things.”
I don’t feel I made a mistake, to pursue my current path.
When I’m bothered emotionally, it is hard for me be focused on, making decisions.
What do I need to be doing first, now?
I have to get past how, I am feeling. That answered that question.
I wish, I was a Vulcan being human gets annoying sometimes.
All this, “my feelings” needing attention …can I just move forward, not waste time.
Not a good attitude to have.
I learned a long time ago about stuffing how I feel.
If I don’t express my emotions, they will come back and haunt in ways;
I don’t want to deal with.
Even Spock, had to go every seven years to mate or his emotions got, out of control.
That’s a man thing, not my issue but, you get my meaning.
Happy days, people!
Say how you feel!
Originally published at familytreethenovel.net on March 20, 2015.