What does love have to do with it?

As much as, I hate believing it. Love is a decision.

Love at first sight is my favorite Love. I adore every thought I have about it. Perfect, love, at first sight. Isn’t it. The most exciting anyway, full of hope.

All your faults are hidden from me. You’re looking gorgeous. There is a strong attraction between us, I never felt before with anyone else at the same time, immediately.

I am wishing you are my soul mate… Wouldn’t that be Grand if on top of being my best friend cause, we just hit it off. I can have sex with you the rest of my life and it’s great. We totally understand without speaking only looking each other in the eyes. I am in love just, thinking of it.

Then comes the time to decide, will I pursue what is being felt. Can I have it for a long time. This is usually where I fall out of love. I start to be rational. I hardly know you and I know someone, somewhere else is saying “I am sick of his shit.”

That ruins it for me.

So I decided to keep my love at first sight. About fifteen years now. If we talk longer than 15 minutes the thrill is gone. I can’t get to know him. I think, I wouldn’t want him anymore.

I know he is empathic also. He sends out signals when he thinks of me. For some reason I never do. I get interrupted by him from whatever I am doing. I stop and listen to him.

It’s weird because we don’t talk. We only feel what we think. I instinctively know when he needs me. If you want to call it that. How odd when I voice this to others.

My sister says he is a booty call. Sometimes, we don’t have sex. A lot of times now. I long for the familiar of his touch, that only he can.

The smile on his face when he see me from the lengthy absence that has passed since the last time we were together.

When I wake up he is usually gone. If not, I wish he was. I don’t know what to say to him except “Go away.” I never let him know that. I make an excuse and wonder why he puts up with me before he leaves. Until the next time, I see him.

He kisses me on the forehead on his way out. I think he is on his way to work. He wears construction boots. That’s all I know or care to know about him. For some reason we like it this way. Well …

I do anyway, he is my love at first sight. That is all, I ever wanted him to be.

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