When Harry met Sally (except with Indians and a sad ending)
Chapter 1: A Fated Conversation
We met in the October of 2013. Well, we didn’t exactly meet. We texted. I said hi, she said hi. Then I said, “Hey, my hand is kinda heavy, can you hold it for me?” I always had a creepy way with words, but she didn’t think it was creepy. She laughed. She responded with another pickup line. I still hadn’t seen her face but I knew she was beautiful. I still didn’t hear her talk but I knew that her voice must have held an alluring tone that I could only dream of. I was hooked from the very beginning with this girl. I used to row back then and had to wake up at 4:30 just to reach my practice at 6:00. On the water, I used to be able to see the sun rising over the horizon, turning the water red with its light and bathing everyone in the boat with the morning shine. On those mornings, the only thing that rivaled the sight of an early dawning sun on the vast river we travelled on was the buzzing of my primitive phone, signaling that a text arrived, promptly at 7:30 in the morning. It was her.
Chapter 2: Close Encounters of the First Kind
She asked me out in November and I said yes. Fast forward to February of 2014 and we had been dating four months but had yet to see each other in person. Before then, we video called everyday, texted each other incessantly and most of our friends knew about our relationship but it wasn’t until a certain religious event that we could finally meet. I waited for hours until she finally came and much like a butterfly that has seen nectar, my heart fluttered. That night, I got my first kiss on our first date. She left the event but forgot to leave my mind.
Chapter 3: So I Had a Bad Day
At the end of my freshman year in high school, I got a terrible grade. My family reacted much more strongly than I did and threatened to take away my phone and connection with all my friends. The first thing that ran through my mind wasn’t missing out on my favorite TV show or not being able to continue my online game but rather it was, “How will I be able to talk to her? Can we continue without conversation? Can she manage without telling me about her day?” So I broke up with her so that she might be able to move on from me and feel less pain about not being able to talk. I was a dumbass. She convinced me of how stupid I was and we were back together soon enough.
Chapter 4: Lots of Nothing and Lots of Something
Then came sophomore year. I was trying to recover from a terrible first year and she just started high school with high expectations and hope for our future. It was in this year that we recognized the obvious strain of a long distance relationship. Around us were couples in hallways making it through the day together and there we were; separated by enough distance that we couldn’t walk to each other and neither of us could drive. That didn’t stop me from loving her. Now you, the reader, might be wondering, “How can you love someone you can’t even touch? Didn’t the distance make your relationship weaker?” To that, I have to answer no. When you start a relationship without physical contact. When your first memories of a person are enjoying their great personality and laughing at their jokes. When you spend 365 days of the year wishing you could be with someone physically. That is when you start loving them for more than they are in person. If we were a regular couple, I might have only liked her for her beautiful face or great body. We might never have spent weekends letting go of all of our mental inhibitions talking about our biggest fears and our childhood traumas. I might never have started appreciating the dichotomy that was her friendships. One moment, she could tell you the meanest thing that you ever heard or she could act like she never wants you around. In another moment, she could make you feel like you are her world and show that she cares more than anyone else. Maybe if our relationship stopped at lustful encounters and physical connections, I would never have known how multi-layered and beautiful someone can be without even being near them.
Chapter 5: The Regretful End
I never stopped loving her. Not when I broke up with her back in freshman year. Not when she broke up with me three times over various things over the summer. Not when I broke up with her over somethings. My friends always said, “Why are you still with her if you two keep breaking up so much?” My response was always, “I just can’t stay away.” After two years, she and I developed a bit of a routine. She would have a bad day, we would video chat, everything would seem much better and we would both end the call with a better mood. Then I would have a bad day, we would video chat, everything would seem much better and we would both end the call with a better mood. She taught me what it means to love someone. To love someone isn’t to enjoy being in their arms. To love someone isn’t to think they are the hottest person in the world. Although I did both those things, I realized that loving someone really means feeling a sense of loss when you don’t talk to them. Loving someone means accepting someone for everything they are, flaws and all, and making those flaws attractive. She would shy away and call some of her birthmarks extremely weird but I was in love and that meant that each of those marks were nothing short of the marks of angels. Well my grandfather died, and in a flurry of emotions I broke up with her this time. Turns out I was still a dumbass but this time, there would be no fixing it, she wouldn’t take me back. This time, there would be no convincing. This time, I might love her but that love will stay unrequited. From my experiences over the last two years, I can make one very general statement, humans are extremely flawed. No matter how much I loved her, I could not express it correctly. I did not take her to enough dates. I said terrible things. I did not appreciate her enough. She is in a better place now. Away from me, away from pain and away from a man who did not deserve her.
I wrote this article to recount what it was like to love someone for the first time in my life. To anyone reading this wondering,”Is a long distance relationship worth it?” My answer is: it depends. Can you imagine yourself in the middle of a lake in a boat with a setting sun in the background turning the lake red? Your head is in his/her lap as you watch the stars come out in the sky and realize that they aren’t stars but are instead fireflies that swarm around you guys and tickle your nose. And you look up at his/her eyes and recognize that there is no place in the world you would rather be. If you can’t imagine that with them, then don’t try it, you won’t even get past the first 2 weeks.