“Oh! You are sensitive”: Why sensitive is a TABOO word — and LEADERS should consciously HIRE such people in teams

Let me give you a Dare.
Try saying this in a job interview:
“I am very sensitive.”
Which of the following two is more likely to happen?
— — — — — — —
Scenario A: The interviewers beam with joy, to welcome a sensitive person into the organization.
Scenario B: The interviewers shift in their seats with concealed discomfort, and ask you.. not one.. not two.. but many poking questions like,
“So how will you deal with pressure?”
Most likely ‘B’, isin’t it?
— — — — — — —
Our expectations of other human beings in personal life and at work, is that they should be sensitive to us, our needs, aspirations, fears, feelings.
But why is sensitive such a bad word in corporates — particularly the higher you go up the corporate ladder?
Leaders at best will use the word empathy or people oriented (that too, somewhere in the 4th or 5th slot, BELOW words like: go-getter, result-focused, strategic).
But how many leaders will dare to describe themselves as sensitive?
In organizations, people are told they are sensitive NOT as a compliment, but as a “feedback”.
I am in the profession of words, and I can tell you, that few words have really taken a beating. They have suffered a bad PR, and no longer mean, in common usage, what they were actually supposed to mean.
“Sensitive” is one such word.
Firstly, let us look at the dictionary meaning of sensitive:
Quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences
OR
Having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings
Sensitive comes from “sense”. It is nothing else, but the ability to sense stimulus.
Stimulus could be visual — like a slight change in expression, detecting a blush, a quick dart of the eye balls.
Stimulus could be auditory — like a slight change in tone, a gulp, a whisper
And similarly other kinds of stimulus of touch, taste, etc.
Being more sensitive is actually having a MORE SUPERIOR capability than the average population, to perceive stimulus
These are people who will always detect the small “no” in the BIG “yes” you are saying
That comes from a stronger ability to take cognizance of stimulus.
This is the real meaning of sensitive. Many creative people are known to be sensitive. It fits because creative people perceive and respond to stimulus in a much deeper manner than others. A poet, a playwright may sense the pathos deeper, a painter may have a richer sense of color, etc.
True scientists are very perceptive. At the highest level of discovery, science also operates at the highest levels of creativity.
So many people must have seen apples falling since Adam and Eve. Yet, it made “sense” to Newton so differently. He did not, like everyone else, perceive just the apple meant to be eaten. He perceived the invisible force that pulled the apple down.
He “saw”, what was there for everyone else to “sense”, but no one else perceived.
That is sensitivity for you, in a very different light.
Now, let us look at some of the myths around “sensitive people”.
Myth #1: Sensitive people have low EQ
If anything, sensitive people need to exert a much higher level of emotional intelligence to remain at the same state as their “less sensitive colleagues” (for the lack of a better phrase).
Sensitive people deal with greater quantum and intensity of stimulus at any given time. To make sense of all that stimulus, and respond takes a lot more than we can imagine.
There is another look-alike word, touchy.
Poor “sensitive” has suffered for long, because of its cousin “touchy”.
Touchy people are touchy. They may take things to heart, react in not so objective a manner. They may even have mood swings.
And they may NOT have any of the special super-powers of perception of sensitive people.
Touchy is defined in the dictionary as:
“Easily upset or offended”
If someone is touchy, please call them touchy.
But pray, don’t call them sensitive.
Myth #2: Sensitive people cannot take tough decisions
If anything, sensitive people can take more informed decisions.
Sensitive people, can see more dots than others, in any given situation. They can see around the corners, under the tables, in the slight twitch on the face, the line between the forehead behind your glasses, the tremble in the voice.
Sensitive people can provide unique perspectives to any decision making process, and aide better decisions in ways, often under-estimated, ill-understood.
Somewhere sensitive got associated with being soft. But tough decisions are not a result of being cruel (opposite of soft).
Tough decisions are an outcome of knowing your choices, consequences and stakeholders
A sensitive person is as equipped to evaluate those as anyone else
So leaders must consciously and deliberately include sensitive people in their teams
Diversity discussions within organizations are hijacked mostly by gender diversity. But gender in itself means nothing — because we are not talking of the physical form. We talk of diversity, because we need different ways of looking at things, doing work and taking decisions.
Sensitive people can strengthen a team in many unimaginable ways. They can help build a more sound decision making process. They are a real asset to any diverse team.
Sensitive people have suffered a taboo for too long; been told they are not good enough for tough roles, and that they don’t have a “thick skin”.
But maybe not everyone needs to have a thick skin
If not having one, is actually their strength
What they need is resilience and courage
And a little understanding and support of their colleagues, in exchange for the many times that they reached out to them
Having sensed those downcast eyes behind the dark shades — that no one else noticed
I belong to a category of people, among the sensitive people, called the HSPs (Highly Sensitive People). Sometime ago Elena Herdieckerhoff spoke about ‘The gentle power of Highly Sensitive People’ at a TEDx event (Link to the talk). I suspect I almost had tears in my eyes hearing her describe so many of the things I had begun to start thinking about as weird, about myself.
Some of the statistics shared during the talk, are significant enough for organizations to pay more attention to HSPs.
- 15–20% of the population could be HSPs (That is 1 in 5 employees)
- 30% of the HSPs could actually be extroverts (mistaken for non-HSPs)
- 50% of the HSPs are men (Sensitive in itself is a taboo — a sensitive man — perhaps an even more tricky issue)
These are significant numbers for leaders to pay attention to this category of people, and seek to understand their needs and strengths better.
We all have strengths. We also have qualities that others need to adjust to. Everyone does. Everyone adjusts.
All that is needed is the willingness to understand each other, and how we can support each other.
That is the only way, true diversity can be built.
The world with us in it, is plagued by insensitivity. We care less and less about people in our family, our friends, our colleagues, the environment.
‘Consciousness’ simply means ‘awareness’
Aware of those around you, the world you live in, your actions, the consequences
Sensitivity is a heightened form of awareness
And, if anything, we need more sensitive people in this world and in our workplaces
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Swati Jena is a writer and entrepreneur. While she writes on a wide variety of subjects, her favorite topics are leadership, culture, artificial intelligence, education and ‘self’.
Swati is the founder of GhostWritersWorld (LinkedIn Page).
Her other articles include:
Technology & product
- “If Robots will do everything, what will humans do”: Why AI Rhetoric deeply worries me
- “Justice delayed is justice denied”: Could AI and Data Science be the answer to India’s judicial backlog?
- Flirt with your product ideas, don’t fall in love
- LOL … driverless cars for India??: When AI meets Cows, Rajinikanth and Ganpati
- Love in the time of Artificial Intelligence: Valentine’s Day 2030
- “Who pays the price?”: Why PRODUCT INNOVATION without SERVICE EXCELLENCE hurts customers — the ETHICS of product innovation
Leadership and Organization
- “If you are nothing without the suit, you don’t deserve it”: 3 cardinal tests for anyone who calls himself leader
- 3 unforgettable lessons I learnt from an Indian Ed Tech Leader
- “How is life? Well, going on”: How not to QUIT your job, but GRADUATE from it
- “I love solving problems”: The BIG problem with problem solving
- “So why are you leaving?”: Don’t treat retention discussions like a ONE TIME date
- Sophisticated-fear-based-management: 3 unmistakable signs
- Interns or cheap labor? Making internship count
- “Travis may be Uber, but Uber cannot be Travis: The curious case of Charismatic leaders”
Diversity and Inclusion
- “Women can’t code because of Biology: 3 reasons it was a BIG MISTAKE for google to fire James Damore (perspectives of a feminist)
- 3 taboo questions Millennials are asking, leaving hiring managers shocked
- Why the ‘Corporate-style Women’s Day Celebrations’ gives me the creeps
- The OOUCH of maternity leaves: Why managers secretly dread it
- Man or Woman? Who should lead gender diversity? Why we are simply asking the WRONG question.
- “She has good figure”: Why creating a safe place to work takes much more than just sexual harrassment policy
Education
- The Yin and Yang of Ed-Tech: Will schools even survive the next 10 years?
- Why we “grown-ups” are the biggest reason the education system must change urgently
- “No chair for teacher”: Is it time we do away with this regressive and myopic policies
Self-help
- The Monkey Catcher’s Lesson: Why we get stuck in our jobs, situations, emotions..
2. “Anger is remembered pain”: 3 steps to healing from difficult experiences at workplace
3. A “50-over-50” list: Pressures of adults “growing up” in a world of over-achieving youngsters
4. The (difficult) art of doing nothing and why it matters in a world proud of “busy”
5. 500 Uber rides without driver talking on the phone: My personal starfish story
6. “Here is a muffin that will make you successful”: The unspoken truth about success
7. 5 reasons we should “stop fighting” for a cause
8. “You are hiding something”: 4 reasons we find it difficult to trust those we love
