Parenting: Growing pumpkins on a mango tree!

The time has changed

16. Handling the imminent spurt.

While parenting, enjoying it or getting nerved sometimes, parents can’t see the time flying so fast. And one day we realize that the clock has struck the teen-time!! The child has knocked the doors of the crucial years of his/her teenage. Previously in 20th century, this term teenage was interpreted as a certain period ranging from 13th to 19th year of a child’s life. But due to many significant changes we have observed with the time changing, this teen time has also progressed and now in 21st century (as we say proudly!) it has advanced to the age of 12 to early 20s(including preteen and teen). Parents today are very much tutored and well-read about almost everything. They are quite acquainted with the words like puberty, adolescence etc. But, to know something and to live with it are totally two different things I believe. The child has come to a stage where there are lots and lots of changes he/she has to face. In simple words, a complete transitional period with a gradual shift is we know as the teenage!

Talking is a must!

Everyone is conceptualized that this age is very much vital for a child but it is more of the walking on the thin ice for parents. It is the time when the parents need the training. During those early parenting years, parents have been used to the techniques like instructing, serving, controlling and even denying. But here comes the gateway where as a parent you need to drop down all your already used armaments and to have newer ones. There is so much you will find written or said about teen children and parents. But, as I have said in my earlier articles, each child has different mindset and different requirements. So, no coequal techniques work! This is the time when you need to be ready for any “Why”, “What”, “How”, “What if” and even many unpredictable ones. Now, there might be many questions those you may not want to answer but dear friend the game has already begun so, no quitting is allowed(It may have consequences).

He wants to be ‘YOU’

This is the time when your child needs you more even more than it was a baby. The child is going to be baffled with all the changes occurring all together. Either it be physical, psychological, emotional or even social. But the good thing about this age is you can get on the board with the child’s rapid development. If as a parent you are having a clear vision about where to take this ship, then all you need is to set the sails. What I mean to say is the kid is ready rather curious to take a plunge into deep waters if accompanied by you in a correct manner. These preteens or teens are the most inquisitive as well as open to learn new things happening around them. They are at an age where they want to be ‘YOU’. Setting right examples as well as limits at this age can help the child to become an extra ordinary grown up.

Not an easy job

Parenting doesn’t bring only the joy or satisfaction but gives very good management lessons also. This fact one can know after having a preteen in the house. Once you learn to manage the moods of the developing kid, half the battle is won. But let me remind you it is actually growing pumpkins on a mango tree! Not only that but the list of matters you will have to manage also includes,

# Making the kid understand about the physical changes it is undergoing.

# Handling the intellectual and psychological growth phase of the child.

# Helping the young one to make social relations, establish those and even leave some of those if necessary.

# Giving them the right directions to set goals in.

# Encouraging them to pursuit for anything they are skilled with.

# And above all, allowing them to make the mistakes you haven’t ever made!

Let him do, whether you agree or not.

Sometimes while doing this, you might not be in agreement with whatever the child would intend to do. But, as a parent train yourself to give a try to everything that doesn’t harm and still you haven’t tried but your kid wants to. Trying always works as talking does! Helping your kid is also helping yourself. You just need to keep trying little more to make things work properly with your preteen or teen.But, it’s just an investment and what you get as a return is a true friend for a lifetime!!

A friend for a lifetime!

Friends, after getting over this beautiful journey of parenting articles with you, here our series comes to an end. But I assure you this to be a beginning for something new as all of you now know that the parenting thing is forever. Once a parent, always a parent. You are going to remain a parent until the oxygen gets over on this planet!!

New visitors and followers can take a look at the whole series from the below links.

Part-15 Marking off — Need and Want!

Part-1 Feeling it from day one.

Thanking you all again. Stay connected for more interesting stuff to come.

Lots of love,

Swati :)

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