An interview with an Indian Cow

There are people. There are animals. There are Gods. Then there are those who have gone beyond the realms of human-divine- animal continuum and achieve greatness. Yes, we are talking about none other than the Indian cow. Previously the world was obsessed with Dinosaurs.Now, with the era of Indian cow dawning , the animal kingdom has found its new poster girl .
Still this immense and ground shattering popularity comes with its dose of controversies and clashes. We recently got into a heart to heart conversation with the Indian cow .
A few excerpts from the moo-ving interview below .
Thank you very much Miss.Cow for your time. This interview comes as a much needed boost for all of us.
Oh please call me Gau. I am happy to be here. It’s been a crazy time for me but when Ram asked , I couldn’t say no.
That’s a pleasure to know! How does this new found fame feels like?
(Laughing cynically) It feels ridiculous. Not because I am overwhelmed with the fame but for the fact that I haven’t done anything about it. I didn’t search for the attention, it came searching for me. Just be in my position and realize how ludicrous this hullabaloo is. I have been doing what I do since a very long time but suddenly this fame feels forced, artificial and a bit demeaning to say the least. At times I feel humbled but then immediately can see through the farce. People respect the idea of me not me per say.
But it must be elating when humans personify you?
Actually, we animals don’t care. Don’t take me wrong but seeing how humans treat fellow human beings ,its better to be a cow. Since centuries I have been gaay mata , gau maiyya and frankly ,rather than a compliment it feels offensive . Who wants to be aunty-zoned like this, right?
True, tell me about it. But we aren’t bad all the time. I mean there are good people too.
Of course there are good people but in this situation I ask you, would I have got the same amount of respect had I not been fair and white. Why doesn’t the buffalo enjoy the same position as I do. It mostly does the same work like me. It isn’t that I am being extremely cynical but I know the damage I do. I see the Gau hathiyaro ko faansi do propagators shouting more, than punishing their fellow species raping your women and children. Cow killing is wrong. But killing and raping in general is wrong too.
You seem to be a bit anti to the entire respect you have been laden with?
You too deep down very well know what I am saying is true. I mean are you not able to see the irony in it. You have problems when people eat me, but you don’t pay much respect to what I eat. I eat out of your dustbins and plastics. No one seemed to care about it. I mean you kill because of your misconstrued religious sentiments and specific political agendas. Let me get it straight, being born to a hindu household doesn’t make me a hindu cow. I am just a cow, I need my space of living , I eat what I want and be left alone for good. I am bound to do what I do be it my skin, my milk , my urine, my dung , my flesh, its not out of any greatness . Its biology, I don’t think all this paparazzi on why I should or shouldn’t be eaten is crap. The same people who propagate that my meat shouldn’t be eaten end up drinking the milk which is the meal of my calf. Isn’t that murder, taking away my offspring's nutrition away.
That’s why I said, people like the idea of me ,not me .
But Gau , can you not see beyond your own self. The revolution you are bringing. A nation you are moulding? A nation looks upon you for inspiration. You are like a mother because you feed the rich and poor both, you bring prosperity to a household, people are attached to you, they consider you in line with the Goddess Lakshmi, they feel that you are their hopes and inspiration, you provide milk to their children, every element of you is of great value ,that there can be no comparison of the contribution made. Hence they cannot stand seeing you harmed. Are they wrong? Amidst all the problem we have with respect to our differentiation, we are still trying to cope with it, every generation, every new age requires a force which binds them together, maybe for this era, you are that source. Why don’t you see it that way, the bigger picture?
A nation which requires a humble cow for its operations, needs counselling. A nation which requires the hump of a four legged creature is not a nation, it’s just an idea of a nation.
Really? that’s all you have to say?
What do I say more, they say some animals are born great, some animals becomes great and some animals have greatness thrust upon them. I sadly fall under the last category and I do not want any of this. A nation should find a better reason to unite, they should create an arena of mutual co-habitation of every specie around and when it talks about vasudev kutumbakam then it should adhere to the notion of creating a space where its species , mind you every each single species gets to live and act according to their free will , moderately bound by their system but living a life of dignity.
I mean talk about some real issues man , why are we here having this discussion . You could have gone and did some real journalism. The media holds power to bring revolution too . The last I remember was, a pen is mightier than sword , then why is the pen silently dripping itself in gaumutra. Why are you here with me when you could be talking about the simple farmer in Maharashtra who is debt ridden or why hasn’t the infrastructure been developed by the government in the north-east properly.
Humans surprise me . There are few wise left in your species. I have become selective to human so much so that I could just relate to the ones who like grass, if you know what I mean .
That’s cheesy ! Anyways what do you want to say in the end to the millions who look upto you ?
The cow in Moscow and gau in Gautam is as random co-incidence as the fact that others taste buds have different food preferences than yours .
In the end cow is just and just a three letter word and so is gau .