“Healing of the Heart” (poem)
Written By: Devon Natasha Roberts
I just gone through several deaths
I survived them all —
As well as the loss of my one and only mom.
She helped me in many ways.
I probably could have gotten the chance to graduate from college way back when —
That I absolutely have no knowledge of as now.
Knowing that I would have made her proud of me
And that she would also be able to see it.
Instead, she can’t.
Birthdays, holidays, you “name it”, she’s just not here anymore.
I cry every time I get to thinking that she should still be here —
Which to me, I have had severe and painful emotions —
Emotions that were told of me to constantly keep her away from my heart.
I feel lost, alone, and abandoned; wondering who else close to me…
Would only be next to break my heart and go back to God.
Another thing is to ask of Him; Since it may not make much sense to me.
I don’t understand WHY it happened
And it feels like —
I just and REALLY don’t know.
At night, knowing that God will protect me through it all
I find myself talking to Him, though my heart has been practically crushed and severed…
Would He listen to what people say as they serve Him:
To “Thank Him”, and to “to always serve Him each day with love…”
Why do I have to do that?
How come I was raised and obligated to a God who created a Lord and Savior
The One who saved Humanity with the price He paid
By laying down his own Body and Blood for ALL of us?
After all these years I’ve carried her demise —
Stripped away from me; just when I didn’t have a clue
That soon, or whenever that may be for me
Something big as this had occurred that could change my life
And the people around me forever.
How can I STILL love God when He could have stopped
This MADNESS that now plagues around and around
my heart and especially my… Head??
I still can’t say no, that I DON’T love Him.
He knows me all too well that I can’t because He saved my life…
Once. Powerful as He is, at my “Darkest Hour”.
I’m not strong, and I am weak, or course
What can I do?
Where can I go?
And, as I am now thinking, wrestling with questions of my life and future — Feeling that I can’t take anything for granted in years to come
So with that, I will do a few things:
No matter how low the tide rushes in and all of a sudden, ocean seas arise…
I will love My God always.
I may feel disappointed and sad, or even alone for a while,
But I know that my Lord will sustain me, and mend my heart like a “Band-Aid”…
And shall never, EVER leave me alone due to my tragedy
Because of this, I now fear the dark, and I BELIEVE that He will continue to protect me, and guide me with His Grace —
With “every arrow that flies to pierce my body, soul
and mind during each day.”