Humor D2

Hey People! Okay so most of you who know me, knows that I am not from Canada. Or am I? Here, I introduce you to the struggles of being multicultural.

Number One: where are you from?

This dreaded question is one of our biggest nightmares. We literally panic when someone asks us this, I mean yah it could be a straightforward answer. The simple answer is where you are born. But the problem is society is changing, I can’t keep track, you can’t keep track, and no one in this world can with words and their meaning. Let me b b break it down for yah, for what is going on in our heads. “What exactly does it mean, where I am from, does it mean where I am born, where I lived most of my life or where I am living currently? Gah! So tough” It seems simple enough, only second’s later do we realise that we have a confused expression on our face looking like a donkey stomped on it. The person who asked us, looking at us if we are okay since we look hella confused, but do they know how nerve shattering of a question that is? People of my kind decide to go with our well rehearsed 18 year life story explained in three seconds; it is as follows: “Well, if you ask me that, I am born in India, lived in Brunei for 17 years and now in Canada for two years.” Finally we can feel our heart beat go back to lub-dub lub dub rather than dubbity dubbity bub.

Number Two: Language Criticism

This follows to their next question. “How do you know how to speak English well enough to not have an accent?” They are the ones who look like fools now; I mean English is the universal language, especially with the Brit’s overtaking India and Brunei. Besides, India does not have the worst literacy rates okay so let’s take it down a notch eh? Yah, I am Indian, I understand our accents aint the sexiest like a hot British guy speaking English. We get it, we sound a little ridiculous but hey we still know how to speak.

Number Three: Common Knowledge

But being an International, there are its perks. Being exposed to different types of people from all over the continent, we are exposed to new facts. These so called facts are actually so interesting that stick to us and good enough to use in daily language making us sound slightly smarter. Like who has heard of the country Futuna, sounds close to Futurama the show, but there is country similar sounding, how radical is that!? Secondly, the place I was brought up, Brunei. Such a hidden country but with so many perks.

Number Four: Confusion where you really are

Learning about all these cultures is exciting but being brown it is automatically associated with being Indian. I mean I love the strict rules of not being able to hang out with boys and having to come back before sunset, but I mean, for all you could care, I could be Pakistani. For crying out loud they are not the same thing, they are not in the same country, but yes they are in the same continent. Also Brunei, it is NOT in India. It is a long ass eight hour flight, no joke a butt numbing experience. Trust me, I know, had to do it every year as it was the ritual to visit India every year.

Number Five: Language in Milk Chocolate

Okay, milk chocolate is the title since I am referring to the brown people in Canada, get it *wink wink* Anyways, like I said, I have been in Canada for couple years. I listened to my parents for 17 years of my life speaking Malayalam; of course I would know how to speak the language by now, shame if I didn’t. So to all the mallus there (people who speak Malayalam) don’t be surprised when you hear me speak the language fluently, I am not like your child who was born and brought up here, but regardless of where they are brought up, you can still teach them the language. Secondly, I do love Canada when I first got here. When I was asked to read in front of class, I loved putting on that fake British accent since I didn’t already have a British accent already. Yah it had a slight American accent as well, but like I said, Britain overtook Brunei; of course I was in a British school. The weird stares I got from students were the cherry on top of the cake. But, I am sure I was lucky to be able to swear in seven different languages and most of you would not be able to recognise what on earth I am saying.

Number Six: Little Indian in Big Canada

The thing about us Indians, there is so many of us wait second most populated country eh? So you can definitely imagine it was not just my parents who wanted their kids to go to Canada, the greatest country for an education. Yes it beats the Brits, one point for Canada yippee! But anyways, we would see so many Indians anywhere we went, except in this class, never the less there was no greater joy in seeing one who could speak the same language as me fluently. Finding one was like winning the lottery; let me show you how it is. So I meet this mallu, he or a she, later introduces me to her parents hopefully it is a she, don’t want them thinking it is a marriage proposal ahaha, anyways parents invite me over, feed me, and that too usually once every week. Guess what they feed me, yup Indian food, jackpot here since I get variety of flavoured food like Indian curry here eh..No.

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