Previously in this conversation I said, “It seems an unfortunately common trope to impute transgender women with ‘male’ sex drives despite the fact estrogen HRT more often than not trashes sex drive and gendering sex drive disempowers female sexuality and justifies sexual misconduct in men.”
I believe that people who don’t want sex with some transgender people should definitely not be pushing themselves in any way to be more receptive to that. Discomfort around the subject of sexuality with transgender people is evidence of pervasive transphobia. Transphobic people shouldn’t be in intimate relationships with transgender people unless they acknowledge and are affirmatively coping with the issue. Lesbians who experience transphobia should not be pushing themselves to be sexually receptive to AMAB transgender people. They should take their reluctance as evidence of their transphobia and be more introspective about their relationships with AFAB transgender people. Whatever genitals they were born with a man is a man, a woman is a woman and a genderfluid person is genderfluid. Is facing repeated rejection because your gender was mislabeled at birth experienced as oppressive? Yes, it is, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how messed up and oppressive it is to be in a relationship and the object of attraction for someone who does not acknowledge your true gender.
I will not be addressing any further attempts to make this about obtaining sexual access. That’s not the point. Trying to make it the point is a TERF move. It’s about transphobia. That sexuality continues to be a scare issue *makes* my point that cislesbians pounding this issue to avoid naming and dealing with transphobia in themselves is an important and pervasive issue.