Choosing Yourself: Confronting the Fears of Leaving a Long-Term Relationship

Sejginha Williams-Abaku
5 min read4 days ago

Leaving a long-term relationship is one of the most emotionally complex and challenging decisions a person can face. The stakes feel incredibly high, especially when you’ve invested years of your life, shared countless experiences, and built a significant emotional and practical partnership. Yet, staying in a relationship that no longer serves your well-being can be even more detrimental. To move forward, it’s essential to understand the psychological fears that hold us back and learn strategies to overcome them, paving the way for a healthier, more fulfilling future.

Fear of Wasting Time

The fear of wasting time often looms large when contemplating the end of a long-term relationship. It’s natural to reflect on the years spent and wonder if it was all for nothing. This fear can trap us in a cycle of rumination, where the fear of wasted time paradoxically leads to more time spent in an unfulfilling relationship.

How To Overcome It:

Reframe the Experience: Psychologically, it’s crucial to shift your perspective. Rather than viewing the years spent as a loss, recognize them as a period of personal growth and self-discovery. Regardless of its outcome, every relationship contributes to who you are today. This reframing helps break…

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