Stress…An Often Self-Inflicted Wound.

Do you often start your day with welcoming anticipation of the planned events, only to end the day defeated and utterly stressed-out? Perhaps you had planned a fun- filled day with the family at the lake, or a productive day at the office? After your morning routine, everything was still going to plan…however, then [insert event] happened and it was all down hill from there. Perhaps the fun-filled day at the lake was spoiled by rain, or perhaps the productive day at the office was hijacked by an unanticipated customer issue.
Geez, another disaster. You say to yourself “I should have known this would happen”…
…Yes, you should have!
Stress is the gap between what we intention to happen and what actually happens. The larger the gap, the greater the stress. It’s a natural occurrence, and although there are a plethora of resources on how to mitigate stress once it occurs — I’d like to point out the obvious on how to help limit its frequency.
There are two variables within our control that we should pay attention to. The first variable is what we intention to happen. How often do we over-schedule ourselves? How often do we over-idealize events? How often do we naively believe there won’t be unforeseen challenges at the office? Having a realistic understanding of the world around us and properly setting expectations upfront is one of the most important things we can do to reduce stress.
The second variable is the response to unplanned issues. Unfortunately we can’t control everything and everyone around us with our minds (I’ve been working on this skill for awhile, haven’t made much progress). However, when an unplanned issue arises, we do have the ability to mitigate it. Often, this requires advanced preparation. Advanced preparation for future problems falls into the category of tasks that are ‘important’ but not yet ‘urgent’. Getting a drivers license is important, but not really urgent — after all what are the odds that I’ll be pulled over? However, once I’m pulled over by a police officer for driving too slow on the highway (rocking out to some oldies but goodies!), having a drivers license becomes instantly important/urgent and too late!
Developing a habit of addressing important (but at the time not urgent) things in advance is crucial to limiting future stress. For the lake, did you pack an EZ-UP? A summer rain storm often lasts only 30 minutes, an EZ-UP provides dry cover to enjoy a snack while the rain blows through. For the office, have you assigned roles and responsibilities for unforeseen (non-routine) work issues?
When there is a fire, the entire local city government doesn’t have a conference call and discuss how to deal with the issue — they send the fire department. Prior to dispatching, they don’t have to train the firefighters on how to quell the fire and save lives, they have already been trained. They just need to be deployed.
Consistently setting personal expectations that unforeseen issues will arise and pre-planning for their occurrence by addressing things that are important but at the time perhaps not yet urgent, is crucial for limiting stress and maintaining a productive and fulfilled personal and professional life.
I’m writing this not as someone that who mastered its content, but rather someone who personally strives to. The more we can live in the Important/Not Urgent (Green Square) the more productive/least-stress we’ll be. What important but not urgent things come to mind today?
