Leaving off on a different note..

So it seemed I left us off on a very depressing note. I apologize. The beginnings of my medication were a little frightening for me too, as I’m sure you read. But all is changed now. Let me tell you how.

I was having coffee with a close friend of mine the other night and I got to fully express the change I’ve undergone. I’m not nearly as anxious anymore. There’s no chance of it overcoming me now. It no longer feels possible. The emptiness I felt, I realized I had to fill myself. And I didn’t feel impeded to. And so I did. I did my work. I went to a friendly gathering. I had a social visit with a friend. I vehemently threw myself into finding a job I want. I started watching a new tv series. Isn’t it amazing all the things you can do with free time? I never realized how much of it I had until my anxiety cleared away. And now I’m free.

I’m free to live again.

I love a man and I love my roommates and I love my parents and my siblings and I love my friends. I love being able to walk and ride the bus and drive my car with a clear mind. It’s so fascinating. To be this calm in mind and body. I never thought it possible. I can move on and it is fantastic. I am liberated.

I’m not the same person I was ever. I am the same inside but new outside. I am closer to the core of who I really am and some might notice a change and some might not. But things are going to change with me in a wonderful way. And I’m fine with being the only one to see them.

So don’t you worry about me. I am doing better than I ever thought I’d be. Who knows when I’ll write another post. Maybe I will, but it won’t be as depressingly personal.

And to the one back in Fort Stockton? I’ll be waiting for you until you come back home.

Thanks for ambling with my rambling everyone. Until next post.

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