Thinking Clearly For a Moment
Maybe I should be more positive when it comes to the travesties of my life. I’m at a point right now where life has beaten me to a pulp and I’m barely breathing on the floor. And you know, life itself is not being so bad. It’s like those soccer games where one player will bump another’s shoulder and the guy will go sprawling like he was drop-kicked by the Hulk. Life is the first guy and my mind will make the bump worse and send me sprawling.
Sure, my mind overworks itself and it’s difficult for me to focus on the reality of things. But I should find some way to ground myself. Maybe that’s what therapy will do for me. Or medication. Even as I’m writing this, my mind is thinking, “You’re just in a better mood right now because you’re tired of what happened to you yesterday and right now you’re surrounded by people on this bus to class and it’s helping you get a better grip. But what will happen to you when you get home again?
I’m trying not to think about it. But until then. I’m seeing another therapist tomorrow. I hope I have the energy to expose my heart again. Wish me luck.
And I know this blog is turning into a journal type deal, but that’s because my anxieties are filling my mind and making it harder to think about much else. I did say this would be a therapeutic thing for me and that’s just what it’s turning out to be. Seems alright with me.