I only feel guilty when I describe the hurts I’ve suffered to someone who had — by all rational and…
Kirstin Vanlierde
31

The other day I read a story on Medium about a woman who was chugging along in her happy life and happened to pick up a sepsis bug somehow one day and ended up a quadruple amputee. Now she has her two young children to raise, with no hands or feet. She says she’s glad to be alive. The interview made her sound cheery. What about her husband — I want to know how he feels. I never wanted to leave my children either, never could quite do it no matter how suicidal I felt. But many children do get left, we know that. There’s nothing so horrible that it can’t happen in this world. I used to steel myself against all that pain. Now I want to feel ALL of it. Hers, her husband’s her children’s. I don’t want to leave anyone behind, because I know that could be me.

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