Once upon a time there was me and you, now there’s just me and that doesn’t seem to be enough. So like a stuffed bear, I feed our memories into a living breathing being that simply isn’t there anymore. I don’t see your face anymore but I see your face in men that pass me by. They don’t catch my eye, not like you did. Somehow I’ve managed to keep you alive in my death when really both of us crashed. A painful death , but with guts do come glory? We both stopped caring, stopped everything, one day you left me and I realized how much I was in love with you. Pity me. You don’t reply to my heartbroken messages and promises. You broke my heart when I remember saying to myself you don’t look like a heart breaker. It’s always the quiet ones. Why do I still mourn over you? I no longer weep but mourn as if someone had actually died. I’m pathetic. I bet I looked pathetic pining after you like a small puppy dog who’d lost their owner. I thought you could fix me. I can still hear your laughter and see your smile and breaks my own. I am broken. Unhealed. Wounds open I bleed fresh. Hounds come near me smelling fear and feed off my open flesh of a heart. How can I repair myself? I still get chills thinking of you and that’s all I can seem to do. You’re not here, you’re there, hell you could be anywhere. I bet you blocked my number. How ruthless and cruel you were at the end. You dragged my dead body down the sewer with jagged ends. I looked in your eyes and saw what I had become to you, a simple nothing, a remorse if that. You felt no pity, you had no heart. How can I ever love again, I don’t, I can’t even bring myself to love my own beating heart and look myself in the eye and tell myself I’m okay. I’m not okay. At this moment I don’t feel I’ll ever be okay. I’m sad I’m still sad about you. Why am I so pathetic? I can’t get over you so I get under others. I know they don’t care. I tell myself I don’t feel. Get over it. You’re no pussy. I can’t I can’t I can’t. I wish I knew you were okay, I hope things in your life are going well. I hope there isn’t someone else. When I’m with some else there will always be you in the back of my head. I regret everything. I wish I could go back and change it all. I fucked up. I’m a fuck-up. That part of my life feels so unreal, a daydream, and I never thought it would end. Never thought you would leave. Now you’re gone and I’m in love with a ghost.