5 LIFE-CHANGING LESSONS FROM 5 SELF-GROWTH BOOKS

Aren’t books really magical? Lifelong experiences and research of an amazing person condensed into a few pages — wow ! Talking specifically about the self-growth books, the topic of this article, they contain so many valuable, life-changing lessons hidden inside the words on the pages. So, let’s dive into 5 books here and discuss one particular change-sparking concept from each one of them:

1. DETACH YOURSELF FROM YOUR EMOTIONS: MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS

Emotions are temporary entities that come to us and then fade away with time. The emotions are NOT the real us. The book says “emotions come and go and, ultimately, can’t define you”. While it’s important to validate your emotions and let them be, it’s crucial to detach from them and remember that they are not our true selves but just temporary residents of our mind and body. By the application of this concept, we can really compartmentalize issues, let our emotions not rule us and do things that are meant to be done whether we feel like it or not, because when we detach from our emotions we can really carry out what’s meant to be done while letting that emotion be and not giving it unnecessary attention.

2. BEYOND HAPPINESS AND UNHAPPINESS, THERE IS PEACE: THE POWER OF NOW

What we really require in our lives is not happiness — it’s peace and contentment. That’s because happiness is there in conditions we perceive as “positive” and “good”, while peace can be there even when the conditions are not as we want them to be. Now let’s be realistic: we can’t always control life. Things that we don’t want and perceive as “negative” happen. In the bigger picture, even the apparently negative things serve a purpose and shape us into the person we’re destined to become. The book declares “conditions are …. neither positive nor negative. They are as they are.” By the application of this concept, we can really see things as they are and not resist them. While forever happiness is a lie, forever peace isn’t and that’s what is to be aimed for.

These beautiful lines from the book are also worth quoting in this context: “Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace.”

3. THE MOST POWERFUL OUTCOMES ARE DELAYED: ATOMIC HABITS

Great results are not achieved overnight; they’re the result of compounding of consistent, small changes over a long period of time. The book says: “Breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions, which build up the potential required to unleash a major change.” The book also defines success as an “endless process to refine” instead of a “finish line to cross”. By application of this concept, we’ll realize that while our tiny changes might not appear to produce a substantial outcome in present, they’ll be the most significant contributors to our success and well-being in the long run. “Tiny changes, remarkable results” !

4. SEPARATION OF TASKS: THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED

We cannot control other people’s actions; we can only control ours. Separation of tasks implies we are responsible for only what we do. How the other person responds/thinks etc. is something outside our circle of influence and should thus not be worried about. The book even declares: “What other people think when they see your face — that is the task of other people and is not something you have any control over.” By the application of this concept, we can see that even someone liking or disliking us is their task. All we can do is to be genuinely a good person according to any set of morals or principles we believe in. If we don’t do so and keep acting out of the concern of being judged by others, we’ll be “living other people’s lives”, as the book says.

5. ABUNDANCE MENTALITY: THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

The book proposes abundance mentality as an alternative to the scarcity mindset which leads us into believing that there are limited resources on the planet and in order for us to be happy, we need to compete with everybody. On the other hand, the abundance mentality reassures us that there’s plenty of resources for happiness out there for everyone, and that our success doesn’t have to mean someone else’s loss.

While application of all these concepts immediately might not be possible, just the realization that all of these are invaluable lessons with the potential to transform our lives can serve as a crucial step to the cascade of our growth journey. As long as we have a growth mindset and are willing to work consistently towards our improvement, we’re only going to become better with every passing day. May we all make our future selves proud !

REFERENCES:

1. Master Your Emotions [Thibaut Meurisse]

2. The Power of Now [Eckhart Tolle]

3. Atomic Habits [James Clear]

4. The Courage to be Disliked [Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga]

5. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People [Stephen Covey]