Siblings

Sylvia G. A.
Jul 30, 2017 · 2 min read

Most of the time we’re ok.

After all it has been more than 10 years since distance separated us.
We talk every day.
Technology ; we love it.
Different cities, countries, timezones don’t matter when messages can be instantly received and responded.

Most of the time I’m ok.

I go to work. Retire to home and enjoy solitude time.
I tell myself that I love it — and I do.

But then there are those days.

When I can’t scold them to their faces when they’re being stupid.
When I can’t be there to solve their computer issues.
When I realize I sleep alone without anyone to talk to about my day.

When I cry myself silly in a bathroom cubicle during work.

And write a whiney piece about it.

I probably have myself to blame.
I wanted to be free.
I wanted to be independent.
I wanted to be my own person.

But at what cost?
At whose cost?

And how do I repair this permanent hole in my heart?
And how can I ever forgive myself for being so selfish?

How long will this song last?
Or is it a new song already?

When will I stop questioning?