It’s such a complicated situation. Right now I’m debating where to have my writing group meetings. I wanted to have them out in the open at the library so people can discover them and join... but about a quarter of the time some very aggressive patron with signs of substance abuse will crash the party. Ill people are all over downtown now. When I was a kid I could play unsupervised since I was seven, shopping and going to candy stores and never ever being bothered. Now walking my dog men will stop and offer to sell me crack or scream at me from their homes. I have my own kid and even concerts in the downtown plaza at noon aren’t really safe, with unstable people approaching or acting erratically each time I’ve tried to attend one with my family. I’m hit up for cash often and people are not always nice when you say no and if your arms are full of baby your mind is racing to figure out what to do if things go south. I always thought I had a big heart but now I’m avoiding public spaces and it makes me horrified I’m not the kind person I thought I was. I could see how this discordant realization could make someone angry and defensive. I don’t blame the ill people but I also am not fixing the problem. We had a situation just like this one town over. Its just going to get worse unless someone sacrifices but we never want to be the ones to do it.
