Beeyatch : Stretched-out phonetical version of bitch. Used for emphasis.

A friend recently made an observation on his Facebook wall that this is the inviolable lifecycle of Nigerians:

1. Birth
2. School
3. Work/hustle
4. Marriage
5. Procreation
6. Raise children
7. Be grandma/grandpa(if possible great grandma/great grandpa)
8. Death

And yes, a huge majority of Nigerians and in fact people from different cultures around the world would probably agree with it
But personally I prefer my own model based on inaccurate data gleaned from extremely lazy research carried out in the course of my thirty years existence on mother earth, and by all means feel free to take what I am about to say with a shit load of salt . It, however still somewhat encapsulates the life cycle above
It goes like this:

  1. Birth
    2. Live
    3. Die

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated” — Confucius

Out of the 3 steps above, we have control over just one step and that is step 2. Birth and death are totally out of our control, we have no say whatsoever in where we are born, our race (an unfortunate socio-cultural construct by the way). Your black ,brown ,white and every other color of ass could be born in a refugee camp or aboard a boat to parents fleeing their homeland for a better life somewhere else or to wealthy parents in any part of the world.

And what about death? no one knows when we'll draw our last breathe, we can’t escape the grim reaper and no one know when he will show up. All we know is that we have a fixed appointment with that bastard that will surely be kept.

“Life is the most difficult exam many people fail because they try to copy others not realizing that everyone has a different paper” — Unknown

That brings us to the only step in which we have control over and that is how we live. Oscar Wilde once said that “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

School, work/hustle, Marriage, procreation, raise children and of course being a grandma or grandpa; there’s nothing wrong in these activities but in my humble opinion, these are personal choices/stages in the human lifecycle. They depend a lot on the person involved and circumstances he/she finds himself/herself.

School? Well, if you do not have the means to go to school what next? do you kill yourself? No, you can pick a skill or be an apprentice at a shop and who knows, you might end up having college graduates working for you. These days I am in favor of self-education and boosting/multiplying your skill sets. It has never been easier and/or easier with the massive information available on the internet.

Work? I see no way around this, you have to eat, fend for yourself and family. But work as we know it may even change in the future. The Greek philosopher Democritus, once said “The only thing constant in the universe is change” ; work is no different. In the future most of the work we do may be automated and handed over to machines, what happens then is anybody’s guess. Would we all be on some sort of universal basic income? And if you are lucky enough to born into wealth and have a huge trust fund to support you will you sincerely care about work? I know I won’t, I would rather be traveling the world and engaging in humanitarian work. Like I said it all depends on the person and the circumstances they are in

Marriage, kids, and being grandma grandpa? They are all choices and your legacy would not be greater or diminished if you choose to stay single, be married or have kids. We all know Albert Einstein well, do you know his kid? Same goes for a lot of people who have made their mark like Sir Issac Newton and Nikola Tesla these guys never married but we will be talking about them way into the distant future


You are you and I am me! We are all cut from different clothes with our different temperament and biases. We obviously will have different takes and perspectives on life. But whatever you decide and choose to live YOUR life, remember that you have just this one life to live(well, good luck to reincarnation proponents), live it well. Leave your footprints on the sands of time. They say “life is a bitch”; well, own your bitch and smack the shit out of it. Good luck