The financially-troubled accountant
Prologue
“Why? You never told me this!”
Suraya was disappointed. She could not believe what she had just heard. Baffled at how he could have kept this a secret from her all this while. “Why had he not told me this before? Why did he have to keep all his problems to himself? Have I not been a supportive wife to him? Am I actually a burden to him?” so many questions were playing in her mind right now. Suraya began to realise that some of Fitri’s mysterious acts in the past made more sense now.
“I had no choice! I only did it because I love you and our family,” Fitri cried out. He broke down in tears. He clinched his hands and covered his face. Regretting what he had just done to his wife.
It was the lowest point of their marriage. Never had they thought their love story could end up to such a scene.
Beginning
Fitri and Suraya were the typical middle class family, living in the city. This high school sweethearts got married 7 years ago, at the age of 23. They were one of the first few couples among their school mates to get married. No one thought it was a surprise that they got married at a young age. By any chance, they would have preferred to be tied in wedlock even years before that. They knew they loved each other very much from the beginning of their relationship.
Fitri worked as an accountant, in one of the “Big Four” accounting firms. Six years — in the same firm and the same department. He was the loyal and go-with-the-flow type of staff. Though the job did not really excite him, it paid the bills and kept him busy. So he was fine with that. Suraya, on the other hand, worked in a private legal firm, mainly specialising at estate planning and will writing. This was her second employer, having served a large corporation before that. She never liked staying static in one place for more than 3 years. She also did not really fancy working in large organisations with plenty of protocol. She was made for being more of a boss, than being bossed.
That year was supposed to be a special year for them. They were embarking on a new chapter into their life — the wife was opening her own private legal firm. Suraya had dreamt about this since the beginning of her career. Fitri was very supportive of her dreams from the very beginning. They had been talking about this for the past few years now. Discussing and talking to other experienced people to learn the ropes of setting up a legal firm. Suraya was not all that good with business planning and management. That was where she needed Fitri’s help the most. And that year was finally time for them to put their dreams into reality.
Shifting from a full-time job to becoming self-employed was not a simple journey. A lot of life shifts were needed to be made. Work was not the only thing evolving in their life — family commitment was evolving just as much. Fitri and Suraya were blessed with two beautiful daughters — Bella and Tasha, aged 4 and 3, respectively. Suraya also just found out that she was 6 weeks pregnant. Fitri was not all that excited about the news when they first found out. As a matter of fact, they were planning to stop at just two children so that they can try focusing on Suraya’s new firm.
Suraya also had a younger sister, Aisya, who was taking her standard 6 exams this year. Her mother was also becoming less fit to work anymore. She would complain about her legs and back, each time Suraya makes her weekly call to her mother. Mamatok, as Bella and Tasha would call their grandma, was a cook in a small restaurant in a rural town in the East Coast. It did not pay a lot, but it gave her a decent living to raise Aisya and Fatih — the two youngest siblings of Suraya who were still in school. Suraya came from a large family, with 7 siblings, and without a father for more than a decade now. Fitri and Suraya invited Mamatok, together with Aisya and Fatih, to move in with them. That way, Mamatok no longer needed to work, as Fitri and Suraya could help provide for the three of them. And Mamatok could help with taking care of her grandchildren while Fitri and Suraya went to work, so they no longer needed to worry about nursery or childcare anymore. It was a win-win situation.
Now with more people to fit under one roof, they moved into a new house. From a 2 bedroom apartment, to a double story landed house. This upgrade came with a rent double from their days living in the apartment — from RM1,000 to RM2,000 per month. Considering the size, design, and location of the house, they found it a major bargain. Right in front of the house was a little playground. It was seemingly best for raising the children they figured. The neighbourhood was also quaint and pleasant with many shaded trees planted around. It had that kampung feel to it which would make Mamatok like it.
Fitri and Suraya did their rough calculation of monthly commitment — all the bank loans, rent, and other major expenses such as groceries, petrol, and utilities — which amounted to approximately RM9,500. They compared that with both Fitri and Suraya’s current monthly salary — RM4,600 and RM6,200, respectively. The combined income of RM10,800, they thought, gave them enough wiggle room to manage their month-to-month financial commitments and afford their “expansion” — Suraya’s new business venture, new baby, together with Suraya’s family moving in. While there would be some increase in their financial commitments, from the current RM 7,500, they also thought there could be other ways that they will be able to save up — especially on child care costs and transportation costs, since Suraya’s new office would be just a 10-minute drive from home. They were also expecting the wife’s firm to bring in more income, reaching at least a 5-figure salary. Everything would work out on its own eventually, they thought.
And so began the chapter of their new “expanded” life.
Fitri’s dilemma
As they went through with their new life, things did not come out as anticipated, especially with living expenses. While they did their assessment of affordability together, they did not really manage their day-to-day financial expenses together. Generally, when it came to managing money in their marriage, they were bound by an unwritten rule that is tacit instead of one tangibly agreed upon. The husband — being the man of the house — must pay for all the necessities because that was his responsibility as a husband. Essentially, it meant that Fitri paid for the rent, electricity, water, broadband, and the monthly grocery shopping. There were also some loans registered under his name — two car loans and a personal loan he once took for a side-business, as well as a couple of credit cards. Besides that, he would give some money to Mamatok and his own mother every month. Nothing extravagant — RM200 each, more or less.
The couple also wanted to expose Bella and Tasha to different types of activities and explore their potentials. So the girls were sent to Kumon classes (English and Maths classes) twice a week, swimming classes every weekend and quran recitation classes 5 times a week. This amounted to approximately another RM800 a month, which was not accounted for earlier.
Having moved to a new house, Fitri had not taken into account the costs involved for him to go to work. Now his driving journey to work is 30 minutes longer than before. Distance was approximately 20km further, and the traffic to and fro from work was a lot worse. He had not realised that toll and petrol costs a lot more than he used to spend. When Fitri and Suraya did their affordability test earlier, this was never considered in their monthly commitments estimate. So this amounted to another RM300 additional costs for transport to work.
Notwithstanding all that, Suraya loves travelling. Amidst her stress of building her legal practice, planning for travels was her main way to de-stress. The year before, Suraya bought flight tickets to Istanbul, Turkey for the 4 of them. At the time the ticket was bought, she was not pregnant yet. In addition to her research on places to go, she would also find more information on ensuring a pleasant journey for expectant mothers — such as finding comfortable shoes to wear, clothes to wear on flight, back support for long-distanced travelling, vitamins and supplements to keep her healthy and fit.
Fitri, on the other hand, was very much unprepared for the trip. Each time Suraya brought up about the Istanbul trip to Fitri, he would eventually zone out from the discussion. Suraya took it as if he wasn’t interested. But she didn’t care, she was determined to go for the trip. Fitri was stuck at thinking about money. He was barely making it for their monthly commitments, let alone to save money for the trip. Not forgetting that there would be considerable amount of costs involved in Suraya’s labour later. But Fitri never brought that concern to Suraya’s attention. “I must find a way to get more money for the trip. I can’t let her down by cancelling the trip. She had already paid for the flight tickets and so many arrangements were already planned out,” Fitri thought to himself. “I’ll find a way. Soon,” Fitri assured himself.
Suraya was already nearly 6 months into her new legal practice. To her surprise, it was doing better than she had earlier expected. She had a few reliable staff to work for her firm. The first three months was quite a bummer — Suraya essentially had decided on her own paycut, to let her firm survive, while also making sure she could pay her monthly dues as well. But there were also some good months after that, where the firm could pay herself more salary. Her main commitment every month was the personal loans she took to finance her new firm. She also had to pay for a car loan, for her personal use, and helped pay for the weekly wet groceries of about RM200 per week. She also understood that her husband’s salary was not huge, so she would never ask him for extravagant gifts. She bought her own clothes and other non-essential shoppings, including scarves and handbags every once in a while. Suraya was thrifty nonetheless. She had the discipline to save at least 20% of her salary every month into her emergency funds account.
Although what Suraya spent on was essentially her own money, she would always share with Fitri how much she earned every month and asked his permission before buying any large purchases. She just liked to be open and honest with her husband on anything, as she would expect Fitri to treat her the same way. “Abang, I’m planning to buy this toy for Bella. Do you want to split the cost in half with me?” Suraya would ask Fitri. “Yeah sure, honey. I’ll pay you back when I get my next salary,” Fitri would usually reply an agreement for Suraya’s purchases. As if it was dictated on him to pay for it. Suraya could only assume that if Fitri could afford to pay for this non-necessity item, surely he was doing fine in paying for the monthly commitments. Even if Suraya asked Fitri, “Abang, I saw the electricity bill. It showed that last month’s bill had not been paid yet. Did you forget to pay?” Suraya asked, giving Fitri the benefit of doubt. “Oh really?! I’m quite sure that I did settle the payment. It’s ok then. I’ll give them a call tomorrow to double check on this matter,” Fitri would assure Suraya that he had everything under control. When in actual fact, the bills were true — he really had not paid the bills yet.
When Fitri started losing control
He now had overdue rents as well as some other utility bills. He had somehow totally lost control of his monthly cash flow. He ended up piling a lot of outstanding bills and unpaid loans. The weird thing was he was not spending any of his money on anything extravagant. Not even anything for himself. To make matters worse, the Istanbul trip was only in a few weeks’ time. He had no idea how to cough up the money to pay for the trip. Fitri had agreed with Suraya to split the travel costs to Istanbul 50–50.
Fitri could not focus at work. He made a list of all the outstanding debt and bills in arears — it added up to a sum of RM6,500. Plus, he needed to fork out approximately another RM5,000 for the Istanbul vacation. He no longer had any savings and his credit card was already maxed out. He was desperate for money and panicked.
He began searching over the internet — fast approval personal loans caught his attention. He was delighted to find plenty of companies that could offer some good rates with minimal documentation. These were not the commercial banks. They were called moneylenders. He did some research about these people — some bad press surrounding them, but they were actually properly licensed. So they were not like the Ah Long type of lenders. Although failing to find any articles recommending their service, he went ahead on contacting them anyways.
He asked at what interest rate was the loan. How the application procedures worked and how long it took to process an application, among the many other questions. One of the moneylender took an extra effort, “I can come meet you now. If you have documents ready, and I find it satisfactory, we can transfer the money to your account by tonight,” Wilson answered. “That sounds good. Please come to my office now. I’ll share with you the location in a bit. In the meantime, give me the list of documents you need so I could prepare them now,” Fitri answered without hesitation. He’s feeling a bit more relieved now, knowing that the solution to his problem could be resolved quickly.
About an hour later, Fitri was in a car with Wilson. “Hi. Hope you are ok for us to discuss in the car,” Wilson initiated the discussion. “Yeah, sure. Here are the documents you wanted,” Fitri responded, getting down to business straight away. “Ok. In the meantime, can you help to fill up this form? My office needs it for records purposes,” Wilson handed Fitri the form and black ball pen. “How much did you say you wanted to lend?” Wilson asked. “RM15k in total,” Fitri replied, having added how much he needed including a few extra to help him payoff the first 2 months of installment. “Looking at your payslip, I think it should be no problem. But I need to explain to you that if you ask for RM15k loan, you will get in hand only RM12,700. This is common practice for moneylender to deduct 15% for administrative costs for first time borrowers,” Wilson explained. “Wait, what?! That’s a lot. But will I be paying interest based on the principal of RM12,700?” Fitri was not too happy with the terms. It was unfair for him. “No sir. The principal is still RM15k. It is common like this with any moneylender,” Wilson clarified. “Your rate of 10% you mentioned earlier. That is the annual rate right?” Fitri continued, asking more to make sure he fully understood.
“No boss. The interest is monthly charged on the principal amount of loan,” Wilson explained. The husband took in a deep gulp. He could not really work out the numbers there and then, but he understood that it was not a small sum. Then he remembered why he had to do this in the first place. So he stopped asking further and went on with it. “Ok, let’s do this!” the husband accepted.
“One last thing sir. I will need you to let me hold on to your ATM card starting today,” Wilson reminded the husband. “Can you please write on this piece of paper your ATM pin number?,” Wilson handed him a rectangular-cut shaped paper. He was going to paste it on the card, for ease of reference. “Mr Fitri, I will also need you to share with me your online bank account username and password,” Wilson continued. Fitri just looked stunned at him. “Don’t worry, Mr Fitri. We will not be able to transfer any money ma. TAC will still need to go to your phone,” Wilson assured him. Reluctantly and slowly, Fitri complied.
“Ok, that is it Mr Fitri. All I need to do now is to get back to my office. Key in all your data. My clerk will later send to you a draft agreement for your reference,” Wilson said while shaking Fitri’s sweaty hands. As Fitri stepped out of the car, he felt some sense of relief. But also nervous of the consequences that he may have to face in the following months.
“I think I might have just sold my soul to the devil,” Fitri thought to himself. No, stop thinking! Just save that for a later date. What is important now is that you have your saving grace. It should buy enough time for you to find more money or get your annual bonus to pay it all off. Everything will work out ok in the end.
The lowest point
4 months had passed since that day. They had returned from Istanbul and had a wonderful time of vacation. Suraya was also in her last month of pregnancy.
Since returning from Istanbul, Fitri had suddenly changed. He was not like his usual self — taking care of the girls and caring for his wife. Fitri was barely home anymore. Luckily Mamatok was around to help care for Suraya and the girls. For the last two doctor’s appointment, Fitri was also absent.
Fitri was at square one when he first took the moneylender’s loan. Now his money struggles were even worse. The monthly loan instalments were eating up all of his money. He could not sustain it. Every day he kept thinking of getting more money. He started doing part time jobs as a Grab driver. It didn’t pay much, but it was surely keeping him busy and away from his family. He used this time to also think about his options to settle off his debt.
“Maybe I should sneak in to my wife’s firm and use her money to pay back some of the debt. I know how to work around the firm’s bank account. When I have the money, I can just pay it back. But I don’t want to jeopardise Suraya’s business. Or I could find a different money lender. This time with much lower interest! 10% was ridiculous. I googled it up already, the law actually said it could only be up to 8% on a per annum basis. So what Wilson did to me was unlawful. I could make a complaint if I have to. But that would not solve my problem. But yes, let me find a different lender. I need to, I have no other choice. Most importantly, I must make sure Suraya does not find out about this problem. Gosh, what will I do?!” Fitri thought to himself, in major stress.
He had no answer. So instead, he kept himself busy — after work, he would continue with Grab. He came home late every day. Sometimes his whole family was already asleep when he reached home. His interaction with Suraya was also limited to goodbyes before he left for work every morning.
Fitri started a habit of smoking. Driving in his car with the window down, he would smoke 3 or 4 cigarettes just on the way to work. Not that he really liked smoking in the first place, but it gave him some sense of solace.
He got home one night. But it wasn’t any normal night. He came home to a tired wife. She was upset with him. She had been suppressing her feelings for the past week. She had been stressed with her business, and the husband had not made any effort to find time to spend together with the family. She was feeling something missing in the relationship with her husband. Especially now that she was in the final stages of pregnancy, she really wanted his support and attention.
“Suraya, have you eaten?,” Fitri asked Suraya, initiating small talks as he walked across Suraya to the kitchen. The wife was just sitting in front of the TV, stoned-faced — protesting really. He could not care less and went ahead to grab himself a plate of rice with some chicken rendang. He has not had anything to eat for the entire day. He was really into his dinner, although eating alone.
“Abang! What is wrong with you? Acting as if there is nothing wrong between us,” the wife erupted. She could no longer keep her emotions in. “You’ve been acting strange for the last few months! You don’t take any notice in me. All you ever do is work, work, work. So is your work more important than family now?!,” she continued scolding him. He just kept quiet. He finished his last bite of rice and took a sip of the instant coffee he made for himself. He seemed to be taking no interest to what she was saying.
She threw the TV remote control at him! It hit Fitri on his head.
“What the hell is wrong with you woman?!” he yelled at Suraya, and now she has gotten his attention. He stood up. “What do you want me to say?! Not that its going to make any difference. I know it, I’m a bad husband! That’s what you wanted me to say, right?!,” Fitri started raising his voice.
“I seriously don’t know you anymore. Go ahead and play along with your ego! I’m your wife. Pregnant with your baby here. You think I wanted to get this baby, huh?! It is so easy being you. You can make babies and treat your wife as you wish. Have you ever once cared about how I feel? You can’t put your ego down just for a while? What part of my imbalance hormones don’t you understand about? You think I’m having the time of my life here carrying your baby? My back hurts. My feet aches. My head is spinning. I’m stressed. And I have to come home to your selfish ego?! Have you ever thought about that? Where was your promise to take care of me?” she lashed out.
Fitri kept silent again. At this point, his ego was starting to crack. He was beginning to realise how selfish his acts were. Suddenly he became more self-conscious of himself. He was not truly feeling like himself.
“Tell me who is the other woman?! Who are you having an affair with behind my back? Tell me you fool!” Suraya has resorted to accusations of the worst. The thing she feared most about marriage — betrayal! That was the only viable explanation in Suraya’s mind. She was ready to hunt down the woman trying to steal away her husband.
“Stop talking nonsense will you?! I don’t have any other woman! Heck, I can’t buy my own underwear for crying out loud. I spend all my money for our family. You know how I kept wearing those oversized shirt and worn-out pants to work. I don’t have money to buy myself new clothes and you could stand there accusing me of having an affair? Shame on you woman!” Fitri defended himself. His ego grew dominant again as he felt more adamant about his own actions now. He believed that he was working his ass off for the sake of the family. And he never did spend money on himself.
Suraya rushed into the kitchen. Took the first knife she saw and pointed at him.
“Tell me! Or else I’ll kill myself,” she has gone berserk and raised her hand with the knife.
“Put it down. No one is going to get killed!” Fitri was trying to play it cool nonetheless concerned. She might be dead serious. Suraya had never gone to this extreme before.
“You think I never realised how you always don’t have money? I know you don’t spend on yourself. But I could see the bills coming home and not getting paid either. The electricity bills were months overdue. Just a week ago, you borrowed my money saying you needed it to pay for our broadband. But each time I asked you whether you were doing ok, whether you had enough money, you said that you’re fine. What’s going on?! There can only be one explanation to this. You’re spending your money on another woman!” she presented her case. “So you better admit it or I’m going to kill you now!” she barged towards him with the knife. Striking once but the husband could dodge it and fled back. “You still think I’m fooling with this knife?! If I can’t kill you I’ll take my own life instead. Then you can live with full regrets because you were the reason for my death! You fool! You’re the reason!!”. He gave her a big slap on the face and she snapped off from her trance. She lost grip of the knife. She dropped herself on the ground.
“Now you see what you made me do?! I borrowed money from a money lender!! There. You have it! I don’t have money because every month most of my money gets taken away by the money lender,” he dropped to his knees.
Suraya had her hand on her slapped cheeks. She was still startled at what just happened and what her husband just said. “Why? You never told me this,” Suraya said softly. She was feeling puzzled and confused.
“I had no choice. The moneylender was the only way I could sustain us at the time. I only did it because I love you and our family. I didn’t have money to pay for the Istanbul trip, but I didn’t want to disappoint you,” Fitri was cornered to admit his fault. He broke down in tears. Realising what he just had done to the one person he loved the most. “I didn’t want you to worry. You’re already working, which is more than I could expect out of a wife. I’m supposed to be the breadwinner. Not you,” Fitri defended his actions.
Suraya was in tears hearing from her husband. She was in disbelief of what her husband had resorted to. But at the same time, she felt relieved that it was not a case of another love affair. She feels calmer and gotten grips of herself. “Abang, we are husband and wife. Have you ever thought of why Allah allowed husband and wife to live with no aurat* between each other? It is not just a matter of physical. It is because we should not have any barrier to each other for all the good and bad times. I’m not your wife only when you’re happy. I don’t expect you to provide for the family all by yourself, at all cost. I expect you to speak to me when you’re in trouble. We are in this marriage together. For better and for worse. In sickness and in health,”
That left Fitri in deep remorse. He hated himself for physically hurting his wife. He was also ashamed for his acts which essentially tainted his relationship with his family. All he wanted to do was do the right thing — make his family happy. But by keeping his problems under the rug, he ended up making things worse and nearly cost the life of his one true love.
*aurat refers to parts of the body that must covered by clothing according to Islam
