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February was shaping up to be a great month for me. From the start of the year to the third week in February I had lost eight pounds of fat, a full three percentage points of body fat, and had been performing very well during workouts at the gym.

I set a deadlift personal record, as well as improving times on select metabolic conditioning workouts (MetCons). My body and logbook were looking excellent. …

I started working out at a CrossFit gym about a year ago (no, I will not say box, despite the fact that many CrossFit gyms are, in fact, perfectly rectangular). As 99% of people who start CrossFit will experience, there are numerous new movements to learn, MetCon (metabolic conditioning) workouts to conquer, and personal records to hit (and HIIT).

It can be overwhelming. Even after a full year, I know it will take an average athlete (read: me) another few years to learn and master all of the CrossFit movements. Maybe not even all of them are within my grasp (ring muscle-ups, anyone?), …

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They’ve come a long way.

The year of our demons 2016 has been a busy one for hip hop. A number of artists have followed a recent trend of releasing smaller sized mixtapes with quick turnarounds between projects. I’m a big fan of this trend.

This is not a new thing, of course. Lil Wayne and others (including a big name on this list — that’s what we call a tease!) did this in the mid 2000s. The resurgence is a welcome part of the future of hip hop.

In 2015, we saw Drake and Future release their own individual mixtapes early in the year and then a joint effort later in the year. Drake then went back to the classic procedure and released a 20-plus song album this year. And while Views was the only full length release from Drake this year, he has been making singles and featuring on other artists’ work. …

I got married five and a half years ago, which means I had a bachelor party five and a half years plus one week ago. Being the first in my group to wife up we decided to go to Vegas (it was only two years after The Hangover). We flew in mostly together early in the morning, but one of my buddies, we’ll call him Daryl, had a later flight that ended up getting delayed even further. …

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Now that I’ve slept on it I feel a little better, but it was like sleeping on the side of a mountain without a sleeping bag and bears all around.

Anyways, here are some actual takeaways from last night.

Depth != Infinite

There’s an old (maybe still relatable in some parts of the world today?) adage that two oxen pulling together can tow more weight than the sum of three oxen pulling separately. It’s a lesson about teamwork (or so they said, I’ve never seen an ox in my life so what do I know). Injuries to superstars is like a bizzaro version of that. …

You know that feeling when you just hate everything? Yeah that’s what it is right now

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Natural disasters are no joke. Both the people of Louisiana and Florida will speak to this fact. Not take. Fact. The devastation that’s possible from even a minor hurricane is life altering for thousands and even millions of people. When a natural disaster is imminent, like hurricanes uniquely are, proper preparation is profoundly pertinent. Any person in a rational state of mind will tell you the same thing.

College football is no joke. Both the people of Louisiana and Florida will speak to this fact. Not take. Fact. The devastation that’s possible from losing a rivalry or championship game leaves a profound impact on thousands of not millions of people. College football games are scheduled months in advance, allowing hundreds of thousands of travel plans to be arranged, and perhaps millions of couches and TVs to be tuned. …

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Ah, the glory days

The McEltrain keeps on chugging along.

The Fighting Gators held on until the very literal last second for a win in Baton Rouge, something they haven’t done since Tim Motherfreaking Tebow (censoring courtesy to Tebow). Speaking of Tebow, the win sends the Gators back to Atlanta for the SEC championship game for second consecutive year, another feat not accomplished since his Majesty.

It’s been a while, considering it was way before Tebow’s baseball career:

(Originally written after the 2015 season… or so they told me)

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good team, M.A.A.D Season

Brace yourself I’ll take yourself on a trip down memory lane

That is the start to probably my favorite K-Dot song ever, m.A.A.d city, by Kendrick Lamar. It’s a wonderfully manic song starting with the “YAWK! YAWK! YAWK!” preface to the drop. The bass in this song is the most intense of any song on the m.A.A.d city album and Kendrick’s tone of voice brings the lyrics to life in the same crazed manner.

Thinking about the 2015 Gators puts me in a similar mindset.

This is not a rap on how I’m slinging crack or move cocaine
This is cul-de-sac and plenty Cognac and major pain

Following the exhibition walloping of whatever woeful FCS school Jeremy Foley decided to fund, the East Carolina Pirates (who now find themselves on some sort of cocaine) came to town. There was still uncertainty from the coaching staff on which QB would be the permanent number one. …


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This album is almost the exact reason I pay for Spotify Premium. When a surprise Kendrick drop happens, it drops right to Spotify. I load up the app, and I listen straight through on repeat for roughly 947 listens. After 947 loops, I’ll eat, drink water, and say hello to my wife and kid (in that order? I don’t remember).

When Kendrick released To Pimp A Butterfly, it took at least that many listens to sift through the thousands of references and themes throughout the masterpiece. TPAB was heavy, with only a few bangers, and a great number of metaphors that I didn't even understand because 1) I’m white and 2) I’m not really all that smart (in that order? …


Tom Johnsen

Are we so deep in it that we can’t end it?

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