I wish I had come across this a while back, just after the attacks. Now we reel from yet more Paris attacks in the fall of 2015 of course. From the time of the CH attacks I couldn’t help feeling they provoked it to some extent. It didn’t help that I lived in a community almost entirely Islamic and I was angry for them, angry for the blame that would ensue. I looked at CH drawings over and over and felt their style was bigoted and provocative, despite what their aims were. It may be aimed to a specific style of French humour — but it’s reach and effect was far beyond this narrow group. While never deserving to die, I could not help, shockingly to myself mostly, but have limited sympathy for them while having complete sympathy for the non-cartoonists, the admin staff etc who got caught up in it attack. Somehow however, I could not utter these feelings in a Facebook sea of Je Suis Charlie. Only one person, my husband, understood my viewpoint and somewhat shared it. I felt that my freedom of speech was limited in a school playground-bullying way. I couldn’t express myself. I had no idea if I was a heartless freak. I wasn’t really Charlie either really.