Day 64 (Same Day Delivery- Gallagher Family Hot Takes Edition): Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds– Who Built The Moon?

In the continued spirit of thanksgiving (minus the whole genocide stuff), I’ve decided to do something special. Noel Gallagher’s new album will be guest-reviewed by his brother and former Oasis band member Liam. Because after all, who knows how to tear us down better than our families?

First of all, fuck off, you potato.

Brilliant job pissing away any credibility you’ve got right off the bat in “Fort Knox” with that aeroplane noise. You think that counts as a high-flying bird, do you? You’re a front-running City shite, but you do know when it says “Etihad Airways” on their jersey it’s not an advert for a fucking albatross.

I know you were dull and dense, but I had no idea you were so utterly incapable of original thought that you had to rip off Suicide for the keyboards — jesus, is that a synth horn section I hear? — for “Keep On Reaching”. Keep on reaching for an original thought more like.

“She Taught Me How to Fly”. That’s all well and good mate, but you’re forgetting I taught you how to write songs worth a shit. Pass.

Credit where it’s due though, mate. “Black & White Sunshine” sounds like a proper “britpop” track. You’ve got your soaring vocals, nice complementary guitar parts that add some spice without confusing the average tosser, it’s all in there. Wish you’d use your pipes and your guitars like this more often if I’m being honest. Could’ve done without the French lyrics in the chorus, but not even I’m perfect.

What’s with these gloomy, hippy “Wednesday” interludes. You trying to DJ a seaside silent yoga retreat in Blackpool, are you?

“If Love is the Law” sounds like a Christmas tune that you just wrote the lyrics for. It’s got the literal bells and the figurative whistles, but no talk of jolly old Saint Nick. Just coz you’ve burned all your bridges and get nothing but coal doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the Christmas spirit, Noel.

The title track. Something, innit. It’s got this nice, spooky, spaced-out melody to it. Even I got a shiver up me spine hearing it. In more talented hands, you could even turn this into one of those Bond tunes, since it’s so close to striking that kind of grand tone. How bout I ring Idris Elba, you and I get in the studio, and hash this out proper? I won’t bludgeon you with a Rickenbacker this time. On our mum.

Liam, thank you. Stay tuned for the inevitable rebuttal in which Noel reviews his brother’s 2017 album.

This is Day 64 in my 100 albums in 100 days series, where I review a new album or EP I haven’t heard in full before every day through December 31st. Check out yesterday’s post or see the full archives for more.

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