Path to Happiness
By Isa Taariq Mutaliph
Hello readers, Today’s article is about happiness. I got this thing in mind when I was at home this past days. I skipped my Saturday classes cause I felt bored. But I received a message which made me so happy that it stated that college will remain closed for 4 days. Now that’s a jackpot. I thought myself that I was lucky. But this was not the thing I am talking about. I went to buy groceries and everyday near my house I see this homeless lady, she used to feed the dogs with biscuits everyday. I always thought though homeless how does she get money? Why she doesn’t show any sadness and doesn’t show any grief, always a smile on her face. So yesterday I asked her how come she enjoys feeding the pooches than actually working and Getting a house? She smiled and replied that she has given everything in life, she house, her family has left her, she doesn’t have enough money but she earns everyday by doing some work like gardening or helping someone she earns upto 300 rs everyday. She could have saved but she buys these parle G biscuits, and feeds the pooches cause now they have become a family to them. She says, life has taken everything from her but God still Keeps her here still on earth cause it’s a test for her for. And she enjoys as they make her happy.
So, our culture is obsessed with happiness, but if there’s more to fulfil the path in life. But having the meaning of life, it gives something to hold on to it. So today im going to be talking about the is more to life than happiness.
So I feel like that’s more to path of happiness. I think in life was more pursuing. Every one said the path to happiness was success. Don’t care whether it’s a perfect job, or get perfect college or get the perfect beautiful girlfriend or handsome boyfriend. But feeling this all I feel anxious and adrift. I witnessed this all the time. My friend too struggled his time in doing commerce, but he had passion for designing things and I supported him, today I saw his post, he got the perfect job planned for him. But I want to research more about people so after meeting that lady, I went to study about psychology about what it keeps to make people happy. So researching this totally gave me shocking results. I learned that chasing for happiness actually makes a person unhappy. I went home and searched and it stated that over the year a person who tries to be happy end up suciding. Even though life is getting better day by day by every conceivable statement, more of them end up depressed, alone.
There is something gnawing people and I would say that it’s not you want to be disappointed. Soon there would be a question telling, is this it? So all this research is not despair to lack of evidence. It is a lack of something else, something meaning to life.
So these all raised some questions to me, is there more to life than being happy?..
Another is what’s the difference between happy and what is meaning to life?…
Many psychologists stated that, they defined it as a state of comfort and distress, Feeling at ease at the moment. Meaning that it’s deeper. According to Martin Serling-
Meaning comes from belonging to serving beyond yourself.
Our culture is so obsessed, but I came to know that seeking is more to fulfilling in path. And those who have meaning to life, they have more resilient, do good in studies and work, and live longer. A good example is China, as they have no worries in life.
So my question was, How can people live meaningfully, so I troubled a friend asking plenty of questions, and researching so much about psychology, and researching so much I came to conclusion that are four things in life, so the first is “belonging”, so belonging comes in relationship from where you’re valued, and where others can be valued as well. But some groups in relationship deliver a cheap form of understanding. If you for what you’re believing, for who you hate, and for who you are, then true believing springs through the air. It comes from individuals and as a choice you can cultivate your belongings with others. Confused,….
Here’s an example from my friend Vikram , he always buys these pan( beetle leaves) from the vendor, he doesn’t just buy , he takes it slow and talk and buys, so one day he didn’t have change, so the vendor said it’s ok, but he insisted in getting change so he bought something he didn’t want and gave but the vendor said he doesn’t want, so Vikram felt bad, he thought that guy rejected him. See, rejecting people just isn’t fair without knowing anything.if it was me, I would forget and move on, so you have to deluge yourself. They make you feel invisible. So when you lead to love, you create the bond. That lifts you up.
Second pillar is “purpose”，purpose is not just finding things, purpose is what you have passion to do. Get the right job, right partner, right way. Purpose is like what you want and what you give. Purpose is not just healing , most parents tell this, my purpose is raising children. The key purpose is to using your strength and to serve others. Most of them go to work, that’s how they contribute and feel needed. But there are some disengagements in work — unemployment, low labor force, no initiates. Without doing any people just flounder. It’s not just working but what purpose you do.
Third pillar, “stepping beyond yourself”, but not in complete way, but transcendence. Transcedence states those moments where you lift yourself to hustle and bustle in daily life. Your sence of face just fades away, you feel connected to a higher reality. From my friend from Arts course, she stated transcendence comes in within yourself. From others is from religion. For me transcendence comes from me writing these articles and studying. Sometimes I feel zoned, that I lose space and time. These transcendent can really change you.
Now forth is to tend to suprise people. Forth pillar is storytelling, the story to tell yourself. Creating your stories to clarity. It helps to understand and become you. But the thing is we don’t realize that we are the authors， our life is not just events, we can edit，and retell our stories.
I met this guy couple days ago, this guy was a boxer, he always boxed but apparently he lost control and lost a rib, he couldn’t fight anymore. He said, I always get into fight, now look at him. People say there life was great now its bad. That is life, that was his story, but at some days he weaved another story, he said, he was a beast, he partied alot, drank alot, was selfish. But after the injury, he has changed alot, it made him be a better man. See it totally edits your story. Now he’s a counselor, and mentors kids, and found his purpose to help others. This was totally a redemption story, from bad to good. But what makes people change their stories ?, Many get help from counselor or therapist, other get from others. By just looking it thoroughly and how it defines your experience, how you gained, how you lose, you won’t just change overnight but it takes years and it’s painful. We all suffer and we all struggle, but facing these, can lead to insight and wisdom to finding that good which can sustain in your life.
So these are the pillars to meaning in life, so you have to find yourself, that what makes you set on your journey. So these help in the architecture and helps to move more deeply, so these goes to communities also , both bad and good. cults, groups ,mobs. These give people what they die for. That’s why we should offer to be better alternatives. We should use these pillars to family and friends to become better selves. But it takes work, it’s an ongoing process. Each day we are constantly making new new stories. And sometimes we go off track, this example would be my mom who undergoed laparoscopic surgery, I was damm scared whether she would live, but it went for Success, I asked her how and she replied she thought of God, and kept on reciting. That shows transcedence and that’s what a story is . That is meaning of life, happiness comes and goes, but when life is good, and things are bad. Just hold onto it.