The Greatest Human Ever: Coming to terms with possibly being that human

As a young boy I would often think about some really amazing things. Things no one else could think of or comprehend. Visions of greatness no other human being has or ever could reach at such a young age. I wasn’t bound by anything. If I could think it, it was real. I was the greatest human that had ever lived. With this power came purpose and a reason for my existence. I knew I was alive to create.

My childhood continued forward and my thirst for learning continued to grow as well as my ability to think for myself. I was continuing to stretch the gap between who I was and the entire human race. I began to really think “How could it be no one is like me?”

Fast forward my life to just after finishing college. I had just made my first website and I got a job with an awesome startup. I learned the technology I need to quickly. I spoke my mind at meetings and had a great deal of fun. This job led straight into another startup position. This time with a huge pay raise and an excitement for the real start of my career. On top of that I felt extremely valued and my opinion was priceless to my bosses. It was so amazing to be the most incredible person to exist.

Then some life happened real fast. My best friend passed away, my roommate (who was 60 years old) was using cocaine and I had to move back home, I broke up with my then girlfriend, and then I was laid off. All within a matter of weeks my whole life was gone. It derailed me completely. I questioned everything about who I was and where I was headed. Was web development really what I wanted to do?! Do I even like programming? Did I just waste a whole year racing towards nothing? Had I been living my life without any clue of what I was doing or where I was going? I’d forgotten that I was the greatest man. I didn’t know how to think correctly. The visions inside my head were dying. My brain was atrophying.

I took a step back. I still wanted to be the greatest man to exist… right? Now, maybe I still am. I still imagine and create awesome things in my mind. I actually have real skills to make some of the things I’ve imagined. I’ve become even more powerful, right?! All of these things I think about and know must make me great. I definitely have to be the greatest man that’s ever lived or will live. I am perfect.

Humans are these weird things that do weird stuff and travel through time and we call it life. My whole life I have strived to be perfect. I have tried to find where the imperfections of life and myself will meet. How can I throw myself into this imperfect world and come out on top and be the best? If that happened maybe a black hole would be created or cancer would be cured or maybe that would be the end as we know it. Orrrrr maybe that’s not what makes life great. Could it be that the best thing about life is that it’s messy; imperfect? Maybe that’s where I get my power. That’s where I rise above and overcome. That’s how I become the greatest human ever.

I guess I should say I am no egotistical, narcissist that looks down on every pleeb that happens to walk by me. I really love people. I wrote this because I know there’s a chance I could be understood or even that you could be the greatest human ever.

Learner, Creator, Developer, Designer. This is my struggle to articulate myself and show my passion for thinking.