I am my father’s daughter.
Stubbornness runs in my family. It’s a character that we have built since we were born and we’ve adapted it through many harsh experiences. I remember the first lesson that my father had taught me in a young age. He told me, “Clench your teeth and just strive as hard as you can to get it.” Of course it sounds more meaningful and eloquent in Korean. I thank him for this lesson, because it enhances my intuition and develops unexpected skills to pass through worst circumstances. That character is the source of my survival.
On the 1st of August, I picked up a rented car to drive back to the city in the morning. I was slightly nervous about driving down the highway that rainy morning, but it seemed I had everything in control. I took a breath or two to release some anxiousness. Once I reached to my sister’s apartment, I packed up all my belongings: the ruined books, the suitcase filled with clothes. Then left Troy for good, with a peaceful, civil good-bye to my sister. Off I went.
I forgot how peaceful the drive was in Taconic Expressway. As I drove pass through the landscape, it came to my realization that as soon as I settle myself in NY, I would start making preparations. I made a promise to myself. The settlement was to choose a familiar path; get a sustainable career and work really hard physically, mentally and financially until I reach my pivotal point. Once it would reached, I would start to achieve what I want to do. It was all the matter of my patience and positivity. And even more critical, a significant reminder I must give to myself everyday in the morning.
It is my second day back. I forgot what this city’s environment: the steam, the smell, the congestions in this raving summer day. I honestly admit, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I missed the city just a tad bit. Only because the transportation was so convenient and I can actually MOVE to different locations. Funny. I feel a little more human.
Oh I’ve missed you New York (Not really…). The first week is all about getting back on the grind and hunching down over my computer to scavenger hunt for apartments and jobs, simultaneously. Just sitting down on my ass in a hippie coffee shop that is absurdly pricey for what it is. The commodity in NYC is making me feel so boogey already. Even more enough reason for me to save money and get out. The struggle is so real, but you know what, I’m stubborn enough to survive this.