When The Wall Falls

I told myself that it would be fine.

I said I should never cry because there is always a tomorrow and even though today was painful, difficult, or draining that there was always a chance in the day to come.

Today that wall fell.

It crashed to the ground and years and years of pain, hurt and tears came rushing through the flood gates that I call my eyes; my emotions are broke and somewhere inside of me that little boy lies, lost as he once always was.

The little boy that no one notice, no one saw him and no one cared.

The little boy who was forced to grow up.

The little boy who was made strong by all the stones not only life, but people threw at him.

The little boy who’s smile turned to tears behind closed doors in a dark room.

Yes that little boy, the little boy who hated himself

Mhm, that little boy who didn’t love himself.

See, when you constantly tell yourself that everything is okay you then start to tell everyone that you’re okay, and then you start to just run through pain like a burning building your flesh burns but you continue to lie, because you’re okay. But sometimes you just want someone to tell you that okay is just an immature way of saying your on fire.

You’re alone and you just want someone to hold you, you pride can’t break though, because you are strong! You weren’t raised to break under pressure you were raised to adapt, but your way of adapting was just hiding, hiding the emotions back and locking them in the back of your thoughts.

You breath and you tell yourself it’s alright, but how long until alright is not enough anymore?

How long until the tears aren’t as therapeutic as they once were?

The wall falls and so do you.

Back into that familiar darkness you once knew.

The darkness they taught us to fear with myths of creatures of the night.

The darkness they said was scary and no one child survived.

The darkness that has been your only friend since the age of 10.

The darkness that painted your dreams with golden skies.

The darkness that held you close when no one else was by your side.

The darkness no one knew, no one but you!

See one day your wall will fall, you will cry and you’ll hurt, but just remember when your wall falls those who really care for you will come rushing in.

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