Stress is my Kryptonite

Have you ever been chasing an answer for so long that you don’t know how to move forward after finally obtaining the answer?

My battle over the last 7+ years with acute physical pains was an everyday reality. Multiple check ups, 5 different GPs, various tests and no answer led me on a warpath of inner self-destruction. A journey that led me to opening a pandora box of negativity so consuming it seeped into all aspects of my life.

How do you prepare yourself to battle the unknown?

I subconsciously isolated myself from all nourishments that my soul needed. Spiralling in a whirlpool of confusion, doubt, and resentment, I ended up disconnected from people, passion, love, and faith. I came to a point in my life where I lost that connection with myself. I became my own tormentor.

I lost my purpose, I forgot who I was, I let my dreams and ambitious slip right through my fingertips.

My answer came when I saw myself looking up from rock bottom.
Seeing the limitless sky above me really put things into perspective; that this was nothing but a battle of will power. I can choose to let fear stop me or I can power through with faith in my heart and discipline in my mind. For the physical part of me is only one layer of my complex existence.

I began to appreciate the power I held from being born a blank canvas with the power to choose the colours to paint my image with. I started to understand that although my canvas was marred by jagged splashes of vividly dark colours, there was still plenty of space to leave my mark. So I choose to loosen my hold on fear and instead put trust my Creator. I started making changes in my life and dived into a pool of reflection.

Then one day, out of the blue, the moment of truth arrived. I’ve been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

“A chronic condition that causes pain all over the body. The exact cause of fibromyalgia is unknown, but it’s thought to be related to abnormal levels of certain chemicals in the brain and changes in the way the central nervous system (brain, spinal cord and nerves) processes pain messages carried around the body. the condition appears to be triggered by a physically or emotionally stressful event.”

In other words, Stress is my Kryptonite.

Stress is ever present and everyone gets a taste of it. It can be all consuming or a power boost, the choice is yours. It never occurred to me until that how stress can manifest itself into physical ailments. It was an overwhelming pill to have to swallow, one that ended up shaking the foundation of my deeply rooted fear.

A side of relief with dash of bitter truth.

Perception is a funny thing. You can decide to look at a situation and let it beat you to the ground and give up. Or you can decide to face it head on, put on your armour and prepare for battle.

My story is one very simple, I’m in mid twenties with the bones of a 70 year old lady carrying the soul of a young warrior. My war plan was that of takeover in blazing glory. Burn it all to the ground so new life can grow. I choose to move forward and reach within myself to calm the storm. Take a deep breath and focus on healing through faith, yoga practice, gratitude and sheer will. I have reached the unknown and it’s not all that scary. In fact, it has helped me find new sides to me that I have grown to appreciate and love. I am determined to embark on my journey once more, reconnect with myself and reach out for my dreams.

Stress may be my Kryptonite. But I’m a warrior and we all know, true warriors are stronger than Superman himself!

welcome back home by Shoshina.deviantart.com on deviantART
- Tahani