7 Steps to Regaining Your Woo-sah
Let’s cut to the chase here, people. You’re stressed, you’re tired, you’re struggling to hold it together on a regular basis, and you desperately wish you could make all of your problems go away with the snap of a finger. You, dear, are not alone.
Welcome to the wonderful world of adulting — the journey that none of us signed up for, but we’re here figuring it out anyway.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a parent to small living beings, a career-focused person, or a combination of the two. Nobody is safe from the chaos that life can periodically bring. Although nobody is exempt from this, you may find yourself looking over at friends or co-workers who seemingly have their stuff together a little bit more than you do. We all know those people who somehow manage to breeze through their hectic schedules without skipping a beat. We gaze in amazement at how they can do it all and not be on the verge of a mental episode 24/7. These people are not superhuman or perfect — they just know how to regain their woo-sah during stressful times.
If you’re not sure what “woo-sah” means, you should go watch Bad Boys II. In a nutshell, this term is used to express or achieve a peaceful state of mind. This could mean walking away from a drama-filled situation to regroup, or maybe sitting down for a few minutes after being on your feet all day. Taking time to woo-sah won’t eliminate the need for a good shower cry or scream fest every now and then. But it is a way to ensure that your to-do list doesn’t drive you to that point as quickly.
During the first few months of 2019, I spent time figuring out an effective method that would allow me to find my woo-sah in the midst of an unforgiving period in life. Below are the 7 steps I take to reestablish a sense of calm in my life when I need it the most.
1.) Be able to acknowledge when enough is enough.
It is so so SO important to be in tune with yourself! Getting to know your body and mind gives you the power to sense mental disturbances before they start to take you over. You’ll be able to feel when your levels of stress are comfortable, and when they start to become uncomfortable.
Every few hours, consciously stop everything you’re doing to ask yourself a few questions. Are you more tired than usual? Do you find yourself having a hard time sleeping at night or concentrating throughout the day? Do you get anxious when looking at your calendar or working on a specific project? Perhaps you’ve forgotten to eat all day? You need to bring attention to how you’re feeling. These could all be signs that you’re losing your cool and need to refocus. Or to break it down more simply, you could ask yourself more basic questions like: How am I feeling? What is causing me to feel this way? What do I need to feel better? Doing this enough times will help you get to know yourself and learn what you need to keep your peace of mind intact.
2.) Make a list of everything that is stressing you out.
Once you’re able to admit that you’re near your breaking point, it’s time to dissect the situation as a whole. Writing all of your stressors down in one spot allows you to assess and process everything that you’ve been experiencing for this prolonged period of time. You’ve probably been maneuvering through each day very quickly and haven’t gotten a chance to directly address a fair amount of things going on around you. It might even be the first time that you’ve noticed that certain things in your life are having any effect on you at all. Sure, it can become overwhelming to see how long this list has gotten over time. But don’t beat yourself up — you’re doing great, sweetie. The fact that you’re coming face to face with your issues is proactive and shows great strength.
3.) From that list, pick out the things that are outside of your control.
This could include things like a rude co-worker, a physical condition, or perhaps the weather (seasonal depression is real). Mark them. Realize you can’t do anything about them. Scratch them off the list. Your attitude and way of thinking is the only thing you can control. Once you come to peace with that fact and make proper adjustments to your mindset, you can proceed.
4.) Go down the list of remaining stressors and come up with a solution for each one.
Coming up with solutions sounds like hard mental work, but I promise it’s not as bad as it seems. This step will more than likely will show you that the solutions to your problems are actually much smaller than you probably were expecting them to be. If your messy kitchen is one of those things on your list, then the solution would be to clean and organize. If your diet — or lack thereof — is one of those stressors, you may choose to incorporate meal prepping into your Sunday night schedule. The coolest thing about making this list is that it also shows how a solution for one problem may inadvertently help solve another. For example, cleaning the kitchen may cause you to find containers that make it super easy to meal prep. Or maybe you discover a bunch of coupons that you can use to go grocery shopping for healthier foods. It all works out!
Pretty simple, right? Now…what solutions can we find for things that are a bit more complicated?
Let’s say that your friend is going through a traumatic break-up and has been leaning on you for support. And by “leaning”, I mean calling you six times a day to cry and vent. (I think we’ve all been on one side of that story before.) You want to be there to help your friend, but you’re starting to get emotionally drained. One solution could scheduling designated times to talk to this friend. Or maybe you could encourage them to text instead of call so much. It’s awesome that you’re being a great friend, but you need to make sure you’re handling your own issues first before trying to help others with theirs.
5.) From the items remaining, prioritize what’s most important.
Good job finishing your list. Give yourself some props! By now, this list probably looks intimidating, and you might be wondering what task to tackle first. Putting things in order based on priority will give you a clear plan of action. Things that cause you high levels of stress on a day-to-day basis should come first. Next, focus on the other high-stress things that may not be a daily bother, but still weigh you down significantly. Continue ordering each item by the level of stress it brings you. Your last few things should be more like nuisances and not full blown problems.
6.) Execute, execute, execute.
Being proactive is the name of the game here. Take whatever time you’re allotted to handle each issue on the list in the order that you arranged them in. Remember, your journey is not a race. Don’t feel pressured to rush to the bottom of the list. Even if you only make a little bit of progress on one thing at a time, that’s still notable. You should feel accomplished! Keep working at this until you eliminate all of your stressors.
For things that are ongoing, you may need to ask yourself if this is something outside of your control. If it is, you know what to do…scratch that bad boy off. However, if it is a recurring stressor that resurfaces every few days or so, you might want to reevaluate your solution. Are you implementing a permanent resolution, or covering the problem up with a quick fix? Figure that out and adjust your plan accordingly.
7.) Everything’s done! Congratulate yourself by doing something nice.
I personally like to reward myself with ice cream, a nap, and a soothing charcoal face mask. But hey, to each their own!
You successfully tuned into your inner voice, found the will-power to take back control of your life, came face-to-face with all of your problems, and overcame them all. Look at how amazing you are! Enjoy your reward, enjoy your moment of woo-sah, and remember to tune into your spirit again as often as you need to. You deserve it!
