I smiled

Talbia.
Talbia.
Jul 10, 2017 · 2 min read

18.10.2016
2:32 a.m
I toss and turn, and turn again. Sleep has evaded my eyes, I can’t seem to get that picture out of my head. It is haunting. It’s maddening. The red splatter on the grey sidewalk, glistening under the moonlight, those empty eyes staring at me, that glimmer of a smile on that face.
I try to focus on the rhythmic flickering of the sign board of the motel across the street, hoping that the pattern would help me fall asleep; but in vain.
I close my eyes and that picture flashes in front of my eyes one more time, making me scream with pain

27.12.2016
5:45 p.m
Everyone needs to stop asking me why I look like a zombie right out of MJ’s thriller. I don’t know, I don’t have an answer. Is there something wrong with going bare-faced? Can I not wear pastels or brood in silence? As much as I loved your nagging at my brooding, I detest it when they do it. Why can’t they leave me alone? Tell them to leave me alone. I’m fine. Well… I will be eventually.

05.01.2017
8:30 a.m
Something peculiar happened today. I smiled. I actually smiled, can you believe it? I was walking down to that coffee shop you loved, you know, the one with dainty green chairs and three legged tables. I hate their coffee, it tastes like cardboard and gurr. It still makes me wonder what could possibly be wrong with your taste buds.
Anyhow, so I was walking to that shop and was halted in the middle of the road by a conundrum. This tiny dog had his paw stuck down the drain and it’s equally tiny owner didn’t know what to do. That poor creature was yelping with pain, I couldn’t see it. I went over and helped the child (his name was Yahiya) with his pup, even let it cover my face with his saliva as he licked it all over. Can you imagine? Me, letting a dog come within a five kilometer radius, that too willingly?
But it was worth it. The joy on little Y’s face made it so. I smiled. Genuinely, openly, a little, but I smiled.
And I missed you; a little more than I always do but this was different.
It was bittersweet.

Talbia.

Written by

Talbia.

a sum of all that’s unapologetically raw — a memoir

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