Black Women in Love, and Black Men in Hate
Black Women have always been at the bottom of the “totem pole” when it came to being a priority, respected and loved in society today. A lot of black women had to fight for everything they had and before and during slavery they had the black men right next to them to help them and protect them, sometimes fighting there battles for them. As European standards of life, love and beauty set into the hearts and souls of the enslaved Africans, women and men started to hate themselves and turn against their African roots and culture and set more into European ways. Men started to not love and appreciate black women’s beauty as much as they did before, and started to hold black women to the European beauty standard which black women could never meet. This made black women insecure and feel like the black man abandoned the black women in society leaving them to feel worthless and insecure, because of the fact that they would never be able to be a white woman.
With the systematic racism constantly pressure black people to lose their culture and values and to not be black put a lot of pressure on black families, and also families that had bi-racial children. To be bi-racial it was looked at as shameful, but after it became more common they were accepted sometimes because they were half white and treated better than people that were “fully black”. This even occurred during slavery and so this mentality just was developed in the minds of a lot of African American slaves. Colorism, became the new normal when it came to black people judging themselves within each other especially when it came to couples. Black men only wanted to be with lighter skin toned women, because they were conditioned to think that they were more beautiful than black women because of the European beauty standard instilled in them and this started to create the light skin vs. dark skin epidemic.
With this epidemic cultivating the minds of black people, real black love started to diminish and colorism started to become detrimental to black families because no black men were marrying white women just to have a light skin child or trying their hardest to get with lighter skin toned and or bi-racial women because it made them feel closer to white, and they did this because of the mindset of being as close to white as possible so that way you’re mimicking the white man’s lifestyle. We see this happening with athletes and celebrities all the time, them dating or marrying white women and not really caring about the black women. With black women leading the nation in being the most educated and black males being the least educated in college, and the black men that are in college, either pursuing a degree or athletes pursuing a career are known to be with white women, it limits the choice that black women have to find a black man. The ones that do find a black man are usually light skinned and or bi-racial.
So who’s left to love the black women? Who’s left to hold the protect the black women from the criticism that she feels from the world and from the men that she loves the most? This type of mindset that some black men have are slowly but surely diluting the roots of black people and there history and what they’re failing to realize is the very women that they’re avoiding is the women that they’re going to create, especially the dark skinned men, they aren’t realizing that if you get with a light skinned female or white and the men in this era keep having this mentality then they’re just going to create brown skinned children, they’re children may not come out light skinned. Black love is starting to be non-existent, especially successful black people. It doesn’t really matter if you’re light skinned or dark skinned, were all black, but black men and women need to start seeing it that way. Don’t judge someone by the color of their skin, like the late Martin Luther King Jr. said “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
Let’s save black love by learning to just simply love ourselves, we shouldn’t judge each other by the skin tone we have, but by the love and grace that person has and for you. Stop making black women feel like they have to live up to the European beauty standard and start pushing them to love their natural curves and hair and flawless skin. Stop letting white women be okay with copying the black women and stealing their culture and then telling them that they’re original and the best. Because, then more black women are going to get pushed to white men and it will become more acceptable and more common and then let’s see what society thinks then.