Is Your Partner Manipulating You Part — I
Before you call me a hypocrite, I am no expert (see my last blog post), however, if there was one subject I feel like I was nearly an expert on — like I was sort of expert”ish.” It would be in the area of identifying manipulative people… more specifically — if your romantic partner is a manipulator.
Here are some behavioral characteristics of manipulative people that might give you pause.
1.) It’s Always Your Fault.
Without fail — something happened, words were exchanged, an argument was had. They cheated, they didn’t follow through, whatever the unpleasant situation — it was because of you. You made them do it — it was your fault.
They repeatedly demonstrate a complete inability to own anything that is wrong. Introspective they are not.
The magic of the manipulator is his/her ability to get you to believe it actually IS your fault. If only you had done this, or done that for them. The head games are pervasive — it shatters your confidence and leaves you alone in your self doubt.
2.) They’re Dishonest — in a Cunning Sort of Way.
At the end of the day, manipulators are deeply insecure people with low self esteems. But they are often quite shrewd while practicing their craft. They know how to get what they want. They’re control freaks. They will use people and go out of their way to create false impressions about who they are and what they’re doing. The outside world will often know a very different version of this person than you do — like a chameleon.
3.) Emotionally Abusive
The person you fell in love with? That’s not really them. That person was a product of their imagination used to lure you in. Oh sure they can go back to that “person” when they need something from you or when it serves their interests, but the sweet, loving, kind, caring person was just a clever ruse. Now you’re at their mercy. They will make you feel awful most of the time because they feel awful. You will have a front seat ride on their roller coaster. Getting off the ride can feel impossible — they have you trapped — and they know it.
Still not sure if your lovebug is a manipulator, or maybe you need help escaping from your manipulator — i’m still no expert — but I do know I can help.