When you are off from your comfort zone, please, do not pack your insecurities to go with you…
I opened my Facebook just to find a fantastic video about leaving the comfort zone, I have seen it before and because I love that video I decided to share it.
Soon comments started to pile, my mom’s, a friend of mine from primary school, all saying the same…you are the best at leaving your comfort zone, you are always testing yourself! Super courageous… etc.
Of course I cannot feel nothing but amazement at the difference between what poeple see of me and I see of myself. What the heck? So I start a mental recollection of situations that proves that there is some logic behind their perception. At the end of the day, who did an MBA when I could barely do 2+2? Who actually succeed at it?
So I start thinking in all those situations where I pushed myself, where I touched new boundaries, where I didn’t even know in what I was getting into!
Moving to London the first time ( Knowing no one, literally, with £500 and an Italian passport)
Going back to Argentina, starting my own business, moving to a massive flat (three bedrooms, three bathrooms) painted and decorated by me to then leaving it all, business and flat to move to a tiny tini 25 square meter Studio… in London, just to mention a few different scenarios.
Yes, is true. I am not leaving my comfort zone, but running away from it!!
So why? Why I am still fighting with myself when I say out loud what I think… (have I said the right thing? Sorry, was I rude? Should not have say it? Should I have say it different?
Why I am still trying to see those skills that apparently everybody sees but me? Why I don’t kill at my actual job? Why I judge myself so hard? Why I am always doubting about myself?
Ah Yes…because every time I run from my confort zone I always, always pack my insecurities with me.
This baggage doesn’t stay spinning endlessly on the belt, doesn’t fall from the trolley who takes all baggages to the plain…no…this suitcase never misses me.
And I thought… I’m old enough to through it at the river of wisdom, that one that gets deeper and wider by the years, but not, here I am standing at the bridge, looking at the river and here as well, the suitcase. I look at it. The suitcase looks at me in complete confidence, like a faithful dog.
Suitcase…time to go…time to let me go…
I don’t wait to see it sink, I can picture in my head the suitcase sinking in the water…bye bye insecurities…I don’t even look back.
Time for me to find a challenging job to kill at and a beautiful man who really appreciates me for who I am…even if I still carry some insecurities in my purse.