Forever 22

I now know why Taylor Swift sings about being 22.

Twenty-two is that sweet spot where you are on the verge between starting your quarter-life crisis (urgh, so millennial of us) and the end of your juvenile teenage dream. It is the age where you start realizing that life is not based on an Elite Daily article. It is the age where you start becoming aware of your true priorities — which values you keep, values you should continue on seeking or values you should throw as far away as possible.

My 22 was truly, amazingly awesome. I learned so much that I felt this year went by so fast yet so many things has happened.

I learned that love is ALWAYS the answer. Okay, I know how cheesy it sounds, but in the end, there really is only one truth — love.

I learned that the opposite of love is not hate, it is fear. And that you must always do things out of love, never fear.

Fear is derived from anxiety of two tenses — the past and the future. Fear of past traumas might affect your immediate actions, fear of not knowing for sure what’s going to happen might stunt your future decisions. Once you live in the Now, right here, this moment where you’re reading this exact sentence, that is when the anxiety gap is non-existent.

Don’t take that job you’re offered because you fear there will not be other employers out there, take it because you love doing it. Don’t be with someone because you fear you can never find anyone better, stay because of love not insecurity.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” — John Lennon

I learned that you cannot love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.

I was in the midst of realizing that I was not feeling complete with a relationship. I sought after this and punished myself for not feeling grateful of the love I receive. The more I punished myself for it, the more I hated myself, judging myself for not being able to allow the love. I was unhappy, simply put. I cannot make someone happy if I myself am not happy. I cannot love someone truly, unconditionally and abundantly, if I myself do not love myself as is. It all starts with you. Are you in love with yourself enough to feel enough? To feel complete with (or without) someone else?

Bieber was right, you guys. You gotta love yo self.

“You must enter a relationship with yourself before anyone else.” — Rupi Kaur

I learned that the love you put through work, shows.

It always shows. It shows when you work on something half-heartedly, the results are usually half-hearted. If you work on something with all the glowing , living, breathing love within you, the love comes back to you. The way you do anything is the way you do everything. When was the last time you put love onto the work you do? The report you sent in before the holiday break? The presentation you crafted? The salescalls you make? The cookies you bake? The music you create? The plants you water?

One secret recipe to any success: add a little (or a lot of) love!

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” — Mother Teresa

I learned that people love differently.

Learn to see that everything has a silver lining called love.

People you think are hurting you might as well be loving you in very different ways. The way your Mom nags. The way your Dad scolds. The way your colleague criticizes. The way your partner becomes jealous. The way your ex-partner deceive you. All these things you perceive as negative, in the end, when you add a little variable of time and wisdom, can be sought as lessons. Only, and if only, you know how to see through the layers. All in all, there will always be yin to yang, light to darkness, good to the lack of, love to fear.

Understand different people have different expression and language of love. Some might resonate to you, some might sound foreign, but in the end, it’s all the same.

“We assume that others show their love in the same way that we do and if they don’t follow that equation, we worry that the love is not there. ”— Amy Przeworski

In 22 years, I learned to start finding and loving myself. Maybe after another 365 days, I will unravel on how to share this abundance of love within me to those in need of a reminder that love triumphs over anything. At least for now, I feel loved. And that is enough.