Why is this happening to you?
This. This that is happening right now, is the best possible version of life.
Believing that things happen for a reason is easier said than done.
It’s a hard concept to grasp that some things are “meant” to happen. In cases where bad things happen, you start to believe that life is punishing you. That you deserve this to happen to you.
Then you start questioning, “why me? Why is this happening TO me?”
I must admit, I am in state where I wake up every morning feeling grateful of everything that surrounds me. I have a loving, happy family. All my friends are awesome. I love my job and the people I work with. I have a very cuddly cat. I have a good supply of good coffee. Basically, I always have a reason to smile, and I am forever grateful for that. And I do understand that not everyone is as fortunate to wake up feeling like this, but in the end it goes back on how you see things. Life that is happening around you is a reflection of your thoughts. If it were raining, would you rather sing and dance around it or worry about the mud splatter?
We’re all humans. We are souls with worldly bodies.
We have minds to think, and hearts to feel. But the essence of what makes us human is our freedom of will. Our freedom of choice. Yet, sometimes we forget that we have one. We let life decide. We let people take control of our choices.
There are so many things that can go wrong. The person you love may not love you back. The coffee you ordered might get messed up. The weather may not be as sunny as you expect. All these external things can happen, stimulus, as you may call it. Things that are not within your control. The weather. Unprecedented events. People’s feelings. All these are not up to you, and that’s okay. But you have one thing that not one soul has a control over except you in all your perfection — your freedom of choice.
That gap between what happens outside you, and your response towards it — that is where the freedom of choice lies. And it is all yours, no one else’s.
Once you realize this, notice how the universe you create around you is most likely based on how you perceive it. The way you see the world is your choice. The way you see problems happening to you is your choice.
Case study: Constantly blaming self for failures
Back in high school, I tried really hard to go into pre-med. I wanted to help the world, make it better. I wanted to become the greater good. But then I failed. Miserably, times seven. Maybe seven is not comparable with Edison’s 10,000 failures, but at that time, it felt as bad. Each failure, I blame myself even harder. I didn’t study enough. I didn’t try hard enough. I keep on finding flaws within me that made this happen. Asking repeatedly, “why is this happening to me?”.
Fast forward to 6 years from then. I learned that I was asking the wrong question.
Instead of asking “why is this happening TO me?”
ask this: “why is this happening FOR me?”
Once you see any hardships in this light, you see that nothing can go wrong. Everything is either a blessing or a lesson, no in-betweens. In failures or losses, you learn. These lessons may not seem kind at the moment, but as you grow older and wiser, you see that all those hardships can be the essence of your awareness and the one that carves you to be who you are right now.
Learn that one change of word can change your world. Learn that once you ask yourself this instead, you gain back your control. You stop being the victim of the universe’s courses of uncertainties. You stop letting life decide for you, you decide for yourself. Remember, that you DO have choice. So, take it.