Every Day I Fail At Doing What I Love-Writing!
And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
From the moment I could read I knew I wanted to be the girl who wrote books. It is the only desire that hasn’t faded or died. Here is my truth I fail at writing everyday. I have books published that doesn’t sale that we, poetry and short stories that hasn’t gone viral. Shit, I can’t even get a kid I birth to support without guilt tripping them into pressing the word like. They haven’t hardly read a word. I just have to work harder. I have to study the craft more and make them proud.
If I was sane I’d quit and do what I hate. Accept defeat and quit what I love. I refuse! It is my sanity, my peace of mind and what I’m hell bent on getting right. I want the world to know I won at what I’m in love with. Maybe it won’t happen until I’m old or in my casket. All i know is to keep going. To write until it is perfection. To be more than a Facebook author and actually know I’ve arrived. My best works are noticed.
So how do I stay sane? Weekly therapy sessions, believing in a vision that often is unrealistic to others, lexapro and writing every chance I get. I buy books on writing instead of pretty shoes, spend my days living a boring life at the library and reading. It is my goal to perfect this craft once and for all.
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Writing is therapy, it me saying some shit I wouldn’t normally say. It is me clearing out the pain, the hurt and embarrasment. It is who I am a writer seeking success at what she loves to do. To touch the best seller’s list and be recognized.
I’m a woman in a saturated world of books being published daily. It looks dark and gloomy but for some pyschotic reason I refuse to give up. Some call it faith of a mustard seed and others call it being determined. All I know is I am going to succeed at what I love doing. I’m going to make it because I want it bad enough.