The Passenger Side of Life
Whose steering your heart, mind & soul?
I’ve always wanted to drive and lately, I’ve craved to get behind the wheel. The desire to choose my destination and to go wherever I want to go. The question I asked myself is whose steering your heart, mind, and soul? I’ve given the wheel to things that meant me no good, people who had no clue or GPS to what I really wanted and lastly saying No to myself.
“I don’t mind being the passenger, the second fiddle or last on the list.” It is the words I’ve said on countless occasions. The passenger side has become my comfort zone. A place of complacency and in the process losing sight on what I really want.
A friend of mine asked, “when do you take the steering wheel of your joy, happiness, and peace?
My reply was, “I don’t think I know how to drive into that position. ”
The second question asked, “When do you drive to the things you deserve?”
My second reply, “I don’t have a license and I don’t think I deserve joy, happiness, and peace.”
It is my truth. I’ve held on to fear of driving into the things I want. Thoughts have crept in of unworthiness. Fear of being built up and crashing into a brick wall and let down. Fear that at the end of the road is a disappointment. That drive is painful and coming back unfulfilled is devastating. When the question was asked whose steering that wheel to my heart, mind, and soul? I had no answer, the truth is it was me pressing pause. It was me handing the keys to others seeking fulfillment they never had the ability or drive what fulfills me. You see the responsibility is mine alone. So, I wrote down a list of things I want, need and desire my goal is to fulfill one a week. It will not be easy but I am putting me on my to-do list.
I want to drive, grip the steering wheel and turn corners to the places I know are my destination. Just as I want to steer the wheel to what brings me joy, happiness, and peace. When you fear driving to the things you want or desire it becomes a habit of handing it to people that can and will mismanage your dreams. You will always be last on their list because they come first. The hunger of your desires and needs will not be fed and you will continue to be starved. It is when depression can seep it.
I am making a decision to take the steering wheel and take the ride. My joy, happiness, and peace are in need of resuscitation. I no longer want to be the spectator of my life. I am getting out of the passenger’s side and sitting on the driver’s side. I am taking the risks, going full speed ahead and getting my learning permit to laugh, to find my happiness and feel a sense of peace.
I shouldn’t fear what my heart desires and needs. We may not know how to drive but there is no age limit to learning. There is also no age limit to having joy, happiness, and peace. So many of us are disconnected to what is our God-given right.
Please learn to drive to the destination and center of your heart. Stop denying yourself, telling yourself no and handing the responsibility to others to give what fulfills you. Take the time to drive into what your heart desires. My Uncle Khalid said to me one day, “if you continue to tell yourself no to what you deserve it will become a habit that you fear breaking.” He spoke the truth Can I ask that all of us make it a habit to say yes to ourselves.