So, if I understand your essay correctly, there are many feminist black women on social media who are married to white men, and want to tear down black men for any number of reasons. In your estimation, Nate Parker didn’t cut the mustard for these sexually promiscuous strong independent black divas who are whining about social justice and he was unjustly emasculated, leaving a wonderful film, unseen. I think you are wrong about why the film flopped.
I don’t consider myself like any of the women you mentioned. The shoe doesn’t fit, so of course, I don’t have to wear it, and I know you won’t force it on me. I think you underestimate the power of rape in the mind of women consumers. After hearing what Gabrielle Union and many others said, maybe guys and gals didn’t choose it as a date movie. She already had committed to a relationship with the movie, so after learning the circumstances, if she felt uncomfortable in any way, did Gabrielle Union have to just smile, and go along with it?
I am one of the people who shied away from the film after finding out that Nate Parker was accused of raping someone in college, then when the victim returned to school he harassed her daily, causing her family to feel her confidence dropped, and then she committed suicide. I say to men, “Never have sex with anyone who doesn’t want to sleep with you just as much as you wish to sleep with them.” The idea someone regretted sleeping with Nate Parker so much, and his harassment troubled her so much she killed herself rather than think about it, is pretty sad and profound to me. I didn’t want to see the film.
It sounded like a good movie, but it bothered me that a man stood outside of a woman’s college classes with friends yelling sexual epithets at her. It bothered me that the harassment lead to a lawsuit and the university was held liable for not doing more to protect a student. It bothered me that the man who participated in bullying this woman wrote, directed, and starred in the movie. In fact, it bothered me that I ever liked the Great Debaters. It’s not just Nate Parker and black women, I don’t much like Donald Trump’s behavior towards white women either. Can Nate Parker ever live this down and be forgiven for a crime he was acquitted of? Hey, I don’t know, I just found out at the same moment I heard of the movie. Give me some time.
The fact that he was acquitted would help a whole lot more if the evidence didn’t cause the university to pay a sum of money for his and his friend’s harassment of the young lady. What that says is that the university they attended, like too many institutions, don’t take rape as seriously as they may need to. Hopefully, things are changing. But getting a rape conviction is very difficult and that’s why many women don’t bother to go through the psychological trauma and re-victimization of reporting it, and being cross examined over and over about such a private and intimate matter.
Possibly the only connection I might have to those women you mentioned is that a gay movie director friend was my first source of information about the rape on social media. Did the same guy guy alert everybody? Before we hate on either gay men, or their women friends, perhaps (this) is more about the experience of rape, rather than the experience of hating a black man like Nate Parker being productive. Many gay black men were raped by other black men in their youth. They may not have been able to report it to authorities. Maybe the only person they could talk to was a female friend.
I neither not hate black men in general, nor enjoy most of the characteristics you mentioned. Therefore, I can only speak for myself, here. I don’t think I’d like to hang out with the women you described either, but I see no reason to stop being on social media to avoid that person. There are 1.71 BILLION people on Facebook alone. While some Facebook users may use other platforms too, most platforms have unique users. Not only that, but it is wrong to stereotype black men, black women, gay people or anyone in absolutes. All black women are not like the description you mentioned. People in our world have many issues, some being the characteristics you mentioned, but most not. I believe the issue here that you overlook is the power of rape. Rape is not about consensual sex, or even sex. Rape is about power to take someone’s control over their life away. Rape devalues the dignity of a victim and empowers and embolden’s the perpetrator. A gay man who was molested as a child and had his life altered understands that.
And so thank you feathers. You brought me squarely in front of why I didn’t see the movie. What convicted Nate Parker of the crime for me, was not a jury, but the actions of Nate Parker, himself and the victim, after the crime. If he wasn’t guilty, he should have stayed far away from anyone who would tell police, lawyers and a court that she didn’t give him permission to penetrate her. Yet, he felt empowered and emboldened to follow her around, like a rapist. Then, sadly, she took her life, fully in the mindset of a victim, which she believed herself to be, that much.
The movie flopped. So sad. Too bad.