A More Realistic ANNOUNCEMENT OF PRINCIPAL VACANCY

A humorous job description

Aug 28 · 3 min read

SCHOOL CHARACTERISTICS

Most of the staff is committed to the development processes associated with Continuous Improvement for this National Award Winning School. If they aren’t, the before-mentioned staff members are dragged kicking and screaming into the Continuous Improvement process. The process is designed into the operational structure of the school in many different ways, perhaps most notably in the work of the school based team, which depending on the day, determines how much animosity and fighting there is among the staff. Be prepared for rumors to start after said meetings.

Be prepared for teachers who do not want to develop themselves professionally because they know everything. Every meeting will be peppered with phrases such as: “I have been here for 48 years” and “We have always done it this way.”

POSITION INFORMATION

Contract Terms: 2 years (215 days annually) — which realistically is 365 days and 24/7 — be prepared to have absences documented and brought to your attention by people who really shouldn’t be concerned about it. Know you will have to navigate and answer to emails and phones from the “Big House” when someone calls them to tell you went to lunch and “cannot be found.”

Salary and Benefits: The salary is competitive and the fringe benefits are excellent, but does not reflect actual workload.

CANDIDATE REQUIREMENTS

1. The applicant must possess or qualify for proper certification as an administrator and have additional training in psychology and verbal combat.

2. Successful experience as a teacher and building- level administrator is highly valued; but often overlooked and under-appreciated by the staff that works for you.

3. The successful candidate will be expected to:

a. Serve as a role model who manifests integrity, self-confidence, a commitment to quality and excellence, courage and a strong desire to focus decision making relative to a “ What Is Best for Kids” philosophy; You may not actually get to implement the practices in your time frame however because staff may not buy in. Have scheduling knowledge and be able to read people is a helpful skill.

b. Demonstrate a high level of energy, enthusiasm and commitment; and never be in a bad mood and give everyone attention.

c. Foster the achievement of Exemplary standards of student achievement and conduct; and then duck when people want to throw stuff at you in principal meetings when you are nationally recognized. (Experience in dodge ball and wrestling helps)

d. Provide leadership of the teaching and learning process in terms of “Best Practices,” Brain Compatibility,” and research related to the improvement of student learning; but be willing to be told that you don’t do enough. Be prepared to use appropriate buzz words in regular conversation esp. around upper administration.

e. Demonstrate leadership to motivate and develop staff and to school community to achieve District and Schools Goals; which includes writing numerous newspaper articles that will be changed without your knowledge beforehand. Good luck with the motivation part….you must enlist a group of people you trust you cannot do the motivating all by yourself. They will be called the Evil 3 — or 3–3–3 because they are only half evil.

f. Possess and manifest the knowledge, skills and attitude to effectively observe, evaluate, counsel and supervise certificated and non-certified staff; which sometimes includes just looking the other way. A counseling degree helps here also. “We do things differently here” becomes the motto.

g. Demonstrate a strong commitment to ensuring that the building and grounds are well maintained and aesthetically pleasing; and be willing to do landscaping, repair work supposed to be done by custodians and creatively pay for it from PTO or your personal funds.

h. Possess and manifest the ability and desire to communicate and to work with parents, and all other groups who affiliate with the school even if they turn your stomach, are crazy and irrational or just plain ignorant.

i. Perform additional duties as needed and as they arise. And they will, and you never know what they will be. They may include but are not limited to, writing grants and awards, dragging children down the hall, being licked by students who sound like dinosaurs, and having visualizations of chain sawing staff when their emergencies somehow become your responsibility.

Tammy Breitweiser

Written by

Tammy is force of nature; woman of honor; seer of nuance; ultra runner and ultra reader; & an accidental inspirationalist who writes.

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